Total Drama, The Ridonculous Race, Extended Edition
by Eternos137
Summary: Here is ANOTHER version of The Ridonculous Race! With more teams, a different list of locations, and potentially more of the best of the Total Drama franchise. Enjoy reading this story I created with the full aid of fellow author, Gwent Forever! Read. Favorite. Review. WHOO! LET THE RACE BEGIN! Rated T to mirror the Canon cartoon.
1. Zero Down, 24 To Go

"Welcome to Toronto, Ontario, home of the albino jaguar, and the birthplace of funk."

We now see a man standing in the middle of a rooftop of a large building, overlooking the busy traffic below.

"Beneath my manly size-13 brogues, 24 teams are arriving at this historic train station, ready to embark on a race around the world," Said the man. "I'm your host, Don. And this is... The Ridonculous Race!" He then show's a toothy grin, his flash starting the introduction.

* * *

\- Author's Notes -

Hey everyone! Account user Zak Saturday here, and I'm running the fanfiction show again. Joining me this time around is fellow writer, Gwent Forever, who is helping me write this story! If anyone wants to know more about the O.C.s I will be posting info about them on my profile! Questions about their backstories or so, just shoot either of us a PM!

In place of where the intro would be, the two of us will use this space to leave Opening Authors' Notes to you all, as well as replying to some of your reviews. I hope you will enjoy The Ridonculous Race - Extended Edition! But enough with the formalities, on with the story!

\- End Author's Notes -

* * *

We are now on the ground street. The host, Don, is seen walking to the center of the building via the sidewalk.

"Welcome to The Ridonculous Race. Right now, 24 teams from across the country are ready to embark on a race... to the DEATH!" (Don is interrupted by a call in his earpiece.) "Not to the death? Okay." (Hangs up) "Let's meet the teams that AREN'T racing to the death!" he exclaims.

* * *

"Carrie and Devin... Best Friends."

\- Team Confessional: Best Friends -

Carrie: I met Devin in the sandbox, and we haven't spent a day apart since. If anyone can win this race, it's us!

Devin: Yeah, I know Carrie so well! It's like we're... (Carrie is looking at him lovingly. He notices this and gets weirded out) W-Wh-What are- What are you doing?

Carrie: (Snaps out of it) Oh, uh... Lint check! (Takes a piece of lint sticking out of Devin's shirt and throws it away) For the camera! Woo! Race!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Kelly and Taylor... Mom and daughter."

\- Team Confessional: Mother and Daughter -

Taylor: (bored tone) So, like, A; I'm really hot, obviously. And B; I'm the pretty much best at everything I do, so unless my MOM messes things up for us, we're totally gonna win this race.

Kelly: Taylor and her friends love when I hang with them! I'm known as the "Cool mom"! (Laughs briefly) We're so tight! People always mistake us for sisters!

Taylor: (Appalled) Wait, what?!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Emma and Kitty... ACTUAL sisters."

\- Team Confessional: Sisters -

Emma: I'm studying international law, so that's going to give us a real edge. Which is good, because we're here to win!

Kitty: And to see the world, meet hot guys, and have some fun!

Emma: IF there's time for that, which there won't be, so let's focus on winning, okay?

Kitty: (Does something sounding like a cross between a groan and a sigh.)

Emma: (Smiling) Good.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"John and Elsa... Brother and sister."

\- Team Confessional: Brother & Sister -

Elsa: John didn't want me to do the race alone, so he signed up with me... just to make sure I won't get into any... "trouble" (used her fingers to quote the word "trouble").

John: Come on, sis! You know that I only want to protect you!

Elsa: I'm 16 now, John.

John: Still, just to be on the safe side, okay? (Elsa rolls her eyes at this.).

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Crimson and Ennui. Two exceptionally pale teenage Goths. (Lightning strikes in the background) Alright that's just unnerving..."

\- Team Confessional: Goths -

The two just sit there in silence.

Crimson: (In a calm emotionless voice) Yay.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Owen and Noah... Seasoned reality TV participants..."

"Yeah!" Owen said. "WHOO! (Holds his hand up to Noah) Don't leave me hanging!" Unfortunately, Noah does just that.

\- Team Confessional: Reality TV Pros -

Owen: Noah and I met on Total Drama, and we've been on TONS of reality shows since then. (Uses his fingers to count them) Like "Meltdown Kitchen", and... "Scare Tractor", and... "Fashionista Flip-Flop"... !

Noah: (In his usual, deadpan tone of voice) Don't know HOW you got on that one...

Owen: I'm just so psyched to be reunited with my little buddy! Come here! (He wraps Noah is a tight bear hug, causing the smaller boy to gasp for air.)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Mickey and Jay... Identical twins who are use to the concept of overcoming adversity..."

\- Team Confessional: Adversity Twins -

Mickey: We've both been through a lot, but we're not cursed. Whatever's right before cursed, that's us. (does a short, weak laugh)

Jay: Like, when I was six I fell into a burrowing owls' nest, and one of the baby owls flew right into my ear! It's not there anymore, but to this day, everything on this side sounds like "hoo-hoo-hoo" ... (He proceeds to fiddle with his ear.)

Mickey: We're constantly fighting adversity and... overcoming it!

Jay: Sorry, we gotta switch sides. You're just... "hoo-hoo-hoo"...

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"The totally in love daters, Stephanie and Ryan..."

\- Team Confessional: Daters -

Ryan: Stephanie and I met at the gym two months and six days ago, and we've been going steady ever since!

Stephanie: We're SO excited, neither of us has ever traveled before. There's just so much to discover! Like... what do chocolate protein bars taste like in China?

Ryan: I was just wondering that!

Stephanie: No Way! (The two then start making out.)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Josee and Jacques... Ice Dancers..."

\- Team Confessional: Ice Dancers -

Jacques: (he speaks with a French accent) We KNOW how to win. We've won gold everywhere!

Josee: Except for the Olympics. He dropped me, so we only got silver.

Jacques: (The moment he hears the word silver, he stands up and cries out in distress) I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! (He runs away)

Josee: (Calls after him) Jacques! (She turned back to camera, smiling) Silver is his least favorite color.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Geoff and Brody... Life-long friends and surfer dudes..."

"(Laughs) Goin' around the world on someone else's dime!" Geoff exclaimed, "Sweet! Hey Bridgette (Laughs again, then points directly at the camera), love ya babe!"

\- Team Confessional: Surfer Dudes -

Geoff: My girlfriend and I did Total Drama, but she's surfing her way across Australia right now. So, Boom! Enter (mispronounced), my bud, Brody!

Brody: (He and Geoff fist bump) Yeah, guy! Bros forever! G and B for the W-I-N!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

At this point the teams were near the starting line. Don calls out to them, saying "Right this way teams. Over here." His voice over continues. "Also competing, Hailey and Eric... two teens who typically hang around the mall all day..."

\- Team Confessional: The Mall-goers -

Hailey: OMG! Total Drama is going to be perfect for me! I can show off my amazing fashion skills.

Eric: We usually hang around the mall, but this is the perfect chance for us to see the world. Hailey can see world fashions, and maybe I can learn about food from other countries in this race.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Greg and Seth... A Brain and Brawn team of Yin and Yang..."

\- Team Confessional: Yin and Yang -

Seth: (Speaks with a New York accent) Greg is kinda like the brains between the two of us, while I act as the muscle (He flexes an arm to prove this point).

Greg: Yeah! With the two of us working together, we're gonna conquer the competition for sure! (The two share a fist bump).

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Dwayne and Dwayne Junior... Father and son..."

\- Team Confessional: Father & Son -

Dwayne: Oh, I spend a lot of time at the old office, so this race is a perfect chance for Junior and I to squeeze in a little father-son bonding time! (Laughs) Isn't that right, kiddo?

Junior: Uh, yeah... Sure, dad. (He looks around, as if trying to find something to change the subject with) Hey, um... are there any kids my age in this thing?

Dwayne: (Nervous) Oh. Uh...

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Sanders and MacArthur... Ambitious police cadets..."

\- Team Confessional: Police Cadets -

MacArthur: We're tough as nails, and we'll go to the extreme to win this thing!

Sanders: Definitely. As long we don't break any international laws.

MacArthur: (Smiles and shrugs) I'm okay with breaking a few. (Sanders looks at her, shocked, then looks back at the camera with the same expression.).

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Lorenzo and Chet... New stepbrothers..."

\- Team Confessional: Stepbrothers -

Lorenzo: My dad married his mom last year, but we still HATE each other! So they're making us do THIS (Arms crossed) Jerks!

Chet: Don't call my mom a jerk, jerk! (He pushes Lorenzo down, who simply gets right back up.)

Lorenzo: Shut your word-hole, jerk! (Lorenzo and pushes him back. Chet then tackles Lorenzo to the ground as they begin fighting again.)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Rosa and Madison... The Seducers... (with concern) I'd better be careful around these two..."

\- Team Confessional: The Seducers -

Rosa: We are kind of a big deal back home. Wildly popular, greatly adored by all.

Madison: So true, we'll have these guys wrapped around our little fingers in no time.

Rosa: Now the only question left for us, is how many people WON'T fall for our beauty? Hint; None. (smirks evilly)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Also Racing, Tom and Jen, Highly attractive fashion bloggers with impeccable taste. (Annoyed) I told you not to let the teams write their own cards."

\- Team Confessional: Fashion Bloggers -

Jen: Hey-hey, to all our blog followers out there! Wish us good luck!

Tom: I bet Jen we could win the race, but I didn't think she'd ACTUALLY take me up on it.

Jen: I just put my mind to something and it (Snaps her fingers) happens!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Rock and Spud... The Rockers..."

\- Team Confessional: Rockers -

Rock: Spud wasn't sure about doing this race, 'cause he's not super fit or good at pretty much anything. Except ROCKING OUT! (He makes a guitar noise) So I said "you just rock bud, and I'll carry you!'" (He and Spud then proceed to air-guitarring and headbanging in typical rock fashion.)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Laurie and Miles, Granola-loving, hippie-dippie friends..."

\- Team Confessional: Vegans -

Laurie: We want to win so we can donate to our favorite charities; "Save the Hunchback Walruses", "Goat Milk Eco Warriors", "People for the Ethical Treatment of Ants," So many great causes!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Sierra ans Topher, fans, rivals, and former contestants of Total Drama..."

\- Team Confessional: Superfans -

Sierra: (Annoyed) Why did I have to be stuck with this idiot?

Topher: (Shocked) What did you just call me?"

Sierra: (Aggressive) I called you an IDIOT!

Topher: (Angered) Oh no you didn't!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Wayne and Cynthia... Fans of the Steampunk genre..."

\- Team Confessional: Steampunks -

Cynthia: (she speaks with a British accent) We are gonna dominate this race! These blokes have NOTHING on us!

Wayne: Yeah, we have the skills needed to make it up top. And when we win, we'll use the money to further our steampunk shop! (The two high-five.)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Ellody and Mary... Scientific geniuses who say they will use their winnings to support the science community."

\- Team Confessional: Geniuses -

Ellody: Astrophysics is underfunded. Reality shows offer monetary prizes. Conundrum solved!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Leonard and Tammy... Dedicated Live Action Role Players... Whatever that means."

\- Team Confessional: LARPers

Leonard: Pahkitew Island was tough! But with Tammy's new spells? Huzzah! We'll claim the Dragon's Eye! That's dwarvish for one million. (Tammy then pulls out an ocarina and plays a small tune on it.)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"And finally, Gerry and Pete... Retired pro-tennis players and friendly rivals."

\- Team Confessional: Tennis Rivals

Gerry: We're both VERY competitive! But for half a million each? Game on! (He and Pete laugh)

Pete: Maybe we'll pick up some new sponsorships! Anyone need a pitchman for Seniors' Laxatives-

Both: (They point at each other) Call his agent! (They laugh again)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

All of the teams were there, standing near the starting line, all of them were facing Don who immediately addressed them all.

"Welcome Teams!" He said, "This is the starting line for your multi-part race around the world! Each part ends at a Chill Zone. Get there fast, because the last team standing on the Carpet of Completion, may just be cut from the competition! (Several teams had looks of shock or worry on their faces, others simply looked bored) BUT! The first team to make it to our Final Chill Zone WILL win ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS! (At this, most of the teams cheered at.) Look over here! (Don is now standing what looks like a ticket dispenser, shaped to his likeness. It had a red button on top.) This is our Ridonculous Tip Box, also known as, the Don Box. (He points to the button on top.) Press this button to get the travel tips, that will lead you throughout the Ridonculous Race! Ready teams? (At this point, all of the teams readied themselves for running.) On your marks! Get set! ... ... ... RACE! (unfortunately, they ended up running through him like a stampede.) WATCH THE FACE! NOT THE HAIR! (Screams in fear)"

* * *

Hailey was the first to press the button, several other teams followed suit.

"(Reading the tip) Race, on foot, to the C.N. Tower," she said, as she and Eric raced off.

"And find the Don Box to receive your next tip. (To John) Let's go!" John shouted, as his sister chased after him.

"Wait up!" she shouted.

Eric and Hailey were the first to reach the CN Tower.

"Okay now... THIS is one huge tower," Hailey commented.

"This is nothing, John and I have been here before, we practically live near the CN Tower," Elsa's voice was heard, as the Mall-goers turned to see the Brother & Sister duo.

"Really?" Eric asked.

"Yeah, and we're also trying to get our band to be more famous," John said.

There was an awkward pause at this, before Eric spoke.

"Wait a minute... are you apart of the Stormtroopers? The band who's famous on YouTube?" he asked.

"Yup!" Elsa said.

"Wow! This is so cool! That means... you must be Kayla Storm!" Hailey exclaimed.

"(Smiling) In the flesh!" Elsa exclaimed dramatically.

"You're Kayla Storm!? Can I get a picture? Please!?" Kitty asked, as Emma face palmed.

"Kitty... we don't have time," she began, before Elsa cut her off with a nod.

"Sure," Elsa said, as Kitty got her phone ready. The two girls took a selfie together, and John joined in, pulling Emma, Hailey and Eric in as well.

"(After the selfie) Okay, we're done, let's keep moving!" Emma said, grabbing Kitty's hand towards the Don Box.

Kitty presses the button on the Don Box, then grabs the tip. She reads it to her self, saying, "It's an Either/Or. What's that?"

* * *

Don, from inside the tower, then explains to the audience, "An Either/Or gives the teams the choice to do one of two challenges. In this case, they can EITHER climb 144 flights of stairs to reach the world's tallest observation deck, that's just under a billion stairs, OR Scares, take the elevator, then get the scare of a lifetime by doing a skywalk all the way around the outside of the tower! Not to worry though! They'll be wearing helmets. AND, as an extra precaution, we even had a safety rail installed. (The camera then shows the safety rail, as part of it snaps off the tower, causing it to go out of balance. The camera cuts back to Don.) Teams must finish either task, then find this local tour guide (showing a man napping on one of the seats) to acquire their next tip."

Eventually, other Teams were reading their tip from the Don Box.

Sanders of the Cadets. "144 Flights of stairs? (Smirking) Yeah, we'll do Scares."

Topher and Sierra. "Scares. (The two then gave each other matching stares of intimidation)"

The Stepbrothers... Well Chet at least, "SCARES! (Successfully takes the tip away from Lorenzo) HA! Called it!"

Even the Adversity Twin, with Mickey saying, with a nervous voice, "Stairs... ?"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Adversity Twins -

Jay: (He and Mickey are both holding the tip, each with one hand.). Mickey gets nosebleeds whenever he goes up too high too fast. It makes it hard for us to take flights or, y'know, go up tall towers (He takes the card from Mickey, causing the poor twin to wince loudly in pain).

Mickey: (After wincing) Papercut!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Dwayne and Junior were in the first elevator before any of the other teams got in.

"First in!" Dwayne said, "Way to go Junior! Give me a high five! (He was about to rush to his son but when at the word five, Junior dodged him, causing his father to slip and land alongside the elevator console. This caused it to temporarily short out and start back up, spontaneously lighting up the floor buttons... ALL the floor buttons. Dwayne laughs nervously a second afterwards.). Oops.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Father and Son -

Dwayne: (Smiling) For a skinny tower, there sure are a LOT of floors! (Junior simply facepalms at this.)

\- End confessional -

* * *

Dwayne and his son then stepped out of the tower, clearly having no choice but to go with Stairs. Dwayne was whistling the way nervous people do as he and his son headed for the staircase.

As several of the teams headed for the elevator they were shocked that all the floor buttons were lit up like a Christmas tree.

Geoff actually pointed this out, asking, "Hey, who pushed all the buttons?"

MacArthur then proclaimed ot her partner, "We gotta take the stairs."

Sanders simply said, "Or we could just wait," To which MacArthur reacted by saying, "HUSTLE!"

After all the means left the elevator, the only teams left were the Mall-Goers and the Fashion Bloggers.

Jen sighed saying, "This'll probably still be faster."

Hailey simply replied with, "Ditto."

* * *

Father and sons were one of the first teams up the Stairs, Dwayne saying, "If anyone asks us, we chose Stairs. Always say we chose Stairs."

Followe immediately by The Superfans, then the Adversity Twins, etc. ...

Don does a Voice-Over/V.O. at this point, "While Father & Son, the Superfans, and the Adversity Twins commit to climbing the unconscionable number of Stairs, more teams choose Scares. BUT, they are in for a long wait."

* * *

Meanwhile in the elevator, The Fashion Bloggers and the Mall-Goers are making conversation as the elevator proceeded from floor to floor.

Jen was saying, "It nice too finally meet a fan of our blog (Hailey) in person!" Tom simply added, "And you're fashion sense is just superb."

Hailey smiled, "Aw, thanks! I make it a daily goal to carefully select the best outfit for the day."

At that moment the elevator doors opened again, showing a hallway where a old man janitor was moping the halls. Tom looked at him an said, "Unlike this guy. I mean, really? Overalls? Ugh, nasty! Talk about a fashion faux pas!"

Jen added, "Yeah. Like, get with today!" Unfortunately the janitor heard this getting an angry look on his face. Later, the elevator opened on the observation deck. The four contestants walked out. Only... they were all wet with cleaning product, Jen has a bucket on her head and Eric had a mop on top of his. All four of them had an upset look on their faces as Jen and Eric got rid of the bucket and mop.

The four looked around and saw that they were the only ones there. No other teams were in sight, just the four of them. Well, them and the Tour guide. Hailey took notice of this and said, "I don't see any other teams... (To the other three) We must be tied in first place! YES! (Jen, at the same time did a light squeal of excitement.)"

Tom then said, "Let's all hit the skywalk and STRUT all the way to the winner's circle!" The four then calmly walked to the door leading to the skywalk. But, when they walked out the door... well. The CN tower skywalk was so high off the ground it terrified them. And the wind was blowing so hard, that it added to the fear.

Jen simply screamed, "We have to walk... UP HERE!?"

Don replied, via V.O., "Oh, yes you do. The Ridonculous Race will return!"

* * *

\- Commercial Break -

We see several Teams, like the Surfer Dudes, Steampunks, Daters, Ice Dancers, and Stepbrothers were still going up the stairs. Don, through V.O., said, "Those who abandoned the elevator are in for a climb, which, quite frankly, will be more fun to watch."

We see Jay and Mickey higher up the stairs. They have stopped and looked at the camera, Mickey saying, "On the upside, we're definitely NOT in last place! On the downside, (slightly depressed) that probably won't be true for long." Then, the two promptly began to run again.

Meanwhile, downstairs, we see Mom & Daughter finally make it to the others, waiting for the elevator to come back. Taylor saw this and groaned openly. "Oh, GREAT," she said to her mother, "Thanks for being so slow, now we're in a race for last place. When we get home, hire yourself a personal trainer."

"G-Great idea sweetie," Kelly said, to which Taylor only replied, "I KNOW. That's why I came up with it!"

* * *

Meanwhile on the Stairs, Geoff and Brody had passed the Adversity Twins, Geoff saying, "Sweet form dudes!"

Mickey told his brother "They seemed nice," but Jay simply said, "No alliances, remember?"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Adversity Twins -

Mickey: Jay doesn't think we should form any alliances.

Jay: We're soft meat.

Mickey: ... REALLY soft meat.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Meanwhile Sanders looked like she had passed her limit. She was leaning on the edge of the staircase, arms over the railing, sweating and groaning, with her legs locked, saying, "UGH! (Gasping in exhaustion) Thighs burning! (Grunts in weakness, as the Superfans passed her) So queasy... "

MacArthur hoped back down to her and picked her up, saying, "(Grunting as she picked Sanders up) So you're one of those skinny/fat people who can't climb at least 10 flights of stairs without puking your guts out, huh? What do you do, (Starts running) yoga?"

We now hear Don, doing ANOTHER V.O., saying, "(Showing some of the teams climbing the Stairs.) As most of the teams continue to climb, (We now see people waiting for the elevator, bored.) or wait... and wait... and wait some more... (We now see the observation deck) The Fashion Bloggers and Mall-Goers are the first teams to reach the observation deck, but the Scare may be too much for them."

* * *

Tom and Jen were clinging onto each other in fright, Tom saying, "(pointing out the door to the skywalk) We can't go out on that DEATHWALK! I am fashionably SVELT, the wind will BLOW me away! (The tour guide rolls his eyes at this remark.)"

"Tom's right," Hailey added, "You can't just expect me to risk my life going out there!"

Eric then grabbed her hand, saying, "Hey, don't worry, I'm here for you. (Looks more directly at her) It'll be alright, we'll just walk slowly so that nothing bad happens to us, okay?"

Hailey looks at him for a moment, takes a deep breath, and says, "Alright... Thanks Eric, I needed that."

"Anytime," replied Eric, "Let's go." The two then proceeded out the door.

* * *

Downstairs, the elevator had finally returned, teams began to ran into it. Don, through V.O. said, "With the return of the elevator, the competition is heating up!" the elevator then closes, leaving some of the teams left behind.

Rosa of the Seducers actually pointed it out, saying, "Okay, that is just rude."

"I know, right?" agreed Madison.

"Wow," Owen said, trying to strike a conversation with Leonard, "Nice robe."

"It has cloaking powers," He said, "Observe. (Screaming) DISAPPEARICUS CONVINICUS! (With his sleeve over his face) Can't see me anymore can ya?"

Owen gets a little creeped out about this, saying, "Umm... ... ... I'm gonna go over there..."

* * *

Back on the observation deck. Eric and Hailey had just stepped out the door, wearing helmets. Tom simply stood in front of the tour guide. "Helmets? Are you crazy?" he protested, "You want us to ruin our hair? Nope, I did NOT sign up for that."

Jen added, "Plus, Plum REALLY isn't my color," To which Tom added, "It's not. Trust."

* * *

Again we see the stairs, the Steampunks are still running at the same pace, passing Father & Son. Dwayne looked absolutely exhausted. The Surfer Dudes passed them as well.

"Doing great Bro," Geoff said to his partner, "Our calves are gonna be SO toned after this!"

Brody replied, "Yeah, totally! We're gonna look like greek gods from the knees down!"

The Ice Dancers were running behind them, slowly catching up, arms held in position as if they were performing. They stopped and started to wave to the camera. Josee said, "Hello to our fans! (She and Jacques then each blow a kiss to the camera) We love you!"

Meanwhile MacArthur was still carrying Sanders up the stairs. "Put me down," Sanders said, "I can to this!"

MacArthur contradicted this, saying, "I beg to differ, Chicken Legs!"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Police Cadets -

MacArthur: It's all in the Glutes! I only use the stair machine at the gym. I'm basically 80% glutes at this point, they've taken over the rest of my muscles. (Flexes her left-hand arm) You see this? It's glutes, it's ALL glutes.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Don does another V.O., saying, "After an hour of stair climbing, some of our teams are REALLY starting to lose it!"

This was true, one example we see is Yin and Yang. Seth is carrying Greg, who was panting heavily, saying, "I... (heavy pant) I can... (heavy pant) I can still."

"No you cant," Seth declared, "You reached your limit. Anymore running and you might just injure yourself, 'kay."

"(Still panting) ... Okay." Greg said.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Yin & Yang -

Greg: (awkwardly) ... Yeah... Long stretched of physical strain, isn't exactly my thing. The only reason we chose stairs was because all the buttons were pressed...

Seth: Yeah, he's more into things like chess, and books, and stuff like that.

Greg: (to his teammate) Okay, chess might be overkill dude.

Seth: Sorry.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Another example is seen with the Adversity Twins who chose to walk at this point. Jay was talking to Mickey, saying, "Stay with me Mickey. Eyes open."

Mickey had his eyes wide open and out of focus. He was clearly delusional, as he was saying to himself, "It's okay mommy, I don't need a new elephant..."

Jay simply looked at the camera, saying, "THIS is why we don't visit a lot of skyscrapers."

* * *

The Elevator had JUST opened again, showing the group who entered it. "There's the skywalk," Devin said, "Come on!"

He, Carrie, as well as Brother & Sister grab their helmets, then head out to the skywals. Tom then stopped everyone else, saying, "Hold on! I need to make sure MY helmet is disinfected before we do this." Everyone present, save for the tour guide, gave him looks of disapproval.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Brother and Sister -

Elsa: We've been on the Skywalk multiple times.

John: Yeah, it was super easy. Just one foot in front of the other-

Both (singing): And don't look down! (laughs)

John: I hope that I can get some ideas to write some new songs... we need more than one single...

Elsa: True. But for now, let's focus on winning.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

The two teams then saw the height below them. Brother & sister started walking without worry, but Devin was a little nervous. "(Looking down) Oh man... " He said.

Carrie said, "Okay, you've always wanted to overcome your fear of heights, right?"

Devin contradicted this claim, saying, "I'm not scared of heights, I'm scared of FALLING. Big difference."

"Don't worry," Carried reassured, "It's a TV competition, it's GOTTA be safe!"

UN-fortunately, a bird then chose to land on the safety rail... and the moment it touched the misbalanced rail, it finally gave way, falling of the tower altogether. When the Mall-Goers saw this, Hailey just froze.

Meanwhile, the Tennis Rivals had reached that point. As soon as they has started their lap around the skywalk, Pete shouting, "HAH! Now WE'RE ahead! (Laughs) Way to SNOOZE, chuckle-heads!"

Carrie knew what was at stake and said to Devin, "You can do it! (Takes his hand) I believe in you!"

Devin simple replied with, "That makes one of us!"

Meanwhile with the Mall-Goers, Hailey was still frozen, at least until Eric talked to her. The Tennis rivals and Best friends passed them during this time. "Hailey," he said, "We need to keep going."

"But I-"

"It's alright," Eric said, cutting her off, "(Takes her hand and holds it with both of his) just hand on and keep your eyes closed. It'll be over before you know it."

Hailey looks directly at him for a sec... then says, "... Okay." The two then proceeded to do their lap around the skywalk.

As the teams walked they noticed that a raccoon, holding onto an open umbrella, was floating upwards, being carried by the wind via the umbrella. ... ... Weird, right?

* * *

Meanwhile, downstairs, the elevator came down again, welcoming the last group of players. Reality TV Pros were running to the doors before they closed. "Make way for two more!" Owen said.

Taylor replied, "(repeatedly pressing the Close Doors button) Sorry, no room left."

This didn't stop Owen who ran in anyway, even as the elevator doors squeezed him a few times before he finally got his entire body in the elevator. When the elevator started rising, they all heard it groan under the weight... mostly Owen's. Taylor pointed this out saying, "This elevator sounds awful."

Then the worst thing imaginable to mankind happened. Owen accidentally let out a big fart! It sounded like a toot, but the odor was so bad, it was actually visible! Everyone else expressed and performed actions of pure disgust, while Noah, who was used to Owens farts, simply stood there an annoyed look plastered on his face as the stench consumed him as well.

* * *

\- Commercial Break -

We see the teams up on the skywalk. Gerry and Pete were ahead of everyone until the wind was able to push the back! When they stopped, Brother & Sister were already ahead of them, which got them a little ticked off.

"Can't catch up with two teenagers?" Elsa called out, smiling.

"Ah, shut up!" Gerry shouted.

Meanwhile The Mall-Goers were doing some good progress themselves. Eric was encouraging Hailey, saying, "That's it, just keep going one step at a time. I'm so proud of you Hailey!" To which she replied, "(Eyes still closed) I'm so happy that you are my partner Eric!"

"Same here!"

Emma was a little annoyed, her sister has stopped moving. She heard Kitty voice, yelling, "This is so cool!"

Emma turned around and saw that Kitty was at the edge of the skywalk... she was taking photos of the view with her smartphone.

"FOCUS!" Emma said, "This is life or death!"

"Come on!" Kitty replied, "Look at what we're doing, it's incredible (letting the wind move through her, arms open). I feel so alive!"

Emma then grabbed her arm, dragging her towards the path, sarcastically saying, "Yeah, great, we'll make sure they put that quote in your gravestone."

Tom and Jen were clinging onto each other as they continued THEIR lap. Jen yelled out to Tom, "Promise me you'll never let go!"

He replied, "NEVER! (More calmly) Can you believe people PAY to do this?"

They were followed by the Vegans, who had the same amount of fear, Laurie saying, "We're doing this for YOU Mother Earth! Don't kill us!"

* * *

Meanwhile at the top The Cadets were first in terms of Stairs, followed by the Ice Dancers, then the Steampunks. MacArthur saying, "Coming through! Police Cadets for the Win!"

Jacques replied, saying, "Not for long!"

* * *

We now hear Don's V.O., "The last elevator has arrived. But while those teams still have to take the dreaded skywalk, teams who took the Stairs are literally LEAPING into the lead."

He was referring to the Ice Dancers, who looked absolutely exhausted. Jacques, panting, said to the tour guide, "First... Place..." The Steampunks came out next, and boy were they equally exhausted. The guide simply held up two copies of the next tip for them to read.

Jacques read one of them, "Catch a flight with a zip, ride the line to your tip. (confused by the tip) Eh? Qu'est-ce que cela veut dire? (French for, "What does that mean?")"

* * *

Don does yet ANOTHER V.O. this time explaining the tip, "Teams must take a flimsy zip line over Lake Ontario, to this island airport (We see the airport), and snag their next tip along the way. The line was tested this morning by our intern, Andy. Condolences again to his family."

The Ice Dancers were the first to ride the zip line, they grabbed the tip with absolute ease. Jacques declaring, "Go Team Canada!" as they proudly proceeded down the line to the airport. The Steampunks followed suit, taking their ticket without any problems, "YES!" declared Wayne as Cynthia grabbed the ticket, "Way to go sis!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the observation deck, Brother and Sister had done the skywalk successfully, cheering for their victory. The best friends followed suit, Devin saying, "Oh man! Thank goodness!" They were followed by the Tennis Rivals. Unfortunately, a large, cracking sound came from Pete, who then fell down in pain. "ARGH-OW!" He screamed, "MY ARTIFICIAL KNEE JUST GAVE OUT! (He continues to scream in pain, even as the Mall-Goers passed him and Gerry.)"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Tennis Rivals -

Pete: Gotta say, agreeing to this show was a great idea. We've been through greater battles than these kids! (Gerry nods) Sure, they may have more zing, more ambition, more blind optimism, more... (He and Gerry are suddenly depressed) This show was a terrible idea.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Police Cadets finally made it up the stairs. "Finally," said Sanders... Before MacArthur simply dropped her, saying, "Yup, now it's your turn. Carry me."

"What?"

"HAH, I'm kidding! You couldn't carry a loaf of bread!"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Police Cadets -

MacArthur: Looks like a lot of teams are dealing with some dead weight. (Sanders is shocked at this remark.).

Sanders: (upset) Are you referring to me!? (MacArthur simply looks at the camera, an awkward smile on her face.).

\- End confessional -

* * *

The remaining teams were reading their tips.

Carrie said, "Zip-lining? (excited) I always wanted to do that!"

Gerry said, "Zip-lining? (worried) I NEVER wanted to do that!"

* * *

Meanwhile, at the island airport, the Ice Dancers finally landed. They waved around, Josee saying, "Thank you! We love you! Merci!"

Don, who was standing there, asked, "Um... who are you talking to, there's no one else here?"

They both answered, "Our fans"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Ice Dancers -

Josee: Our fans give us the love and energy we need to perform under extreme pressure. Without them, my partner, Jacques, would never be able to overcome his MANY (strong emphasis on the word) faults.

Jacques: Um... Why d'you say "many" like that?

Josee: (Still looking at the camera) You know why.

\- End confessional -

* * *

The Steampunks land down next, then Cynthia reads the tip, "Book two seats on the next flight to Morocco."

Don then talks to the audience, "There are three flights heading to Morocco, departing 30 minutes apart. Teams who make it onto the first flight have the distinctive advantage of arriving first. Teams on the third and last flight... should probably begin to question why they even entered this race because... WOW, really?"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Reality TV Pros -

Noah: Every reality show I've been on, I've lost. THIS time, no excuses, no distractions. I've got my eye on the cheddar.

Owen: And to taste the foods! (Noah gives him a look) Winning, WHOO! (Noah stares at the camera, annoyed.).

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Brother and sister were the next to do the zip-line, followed by the best friends.

"WE DID IT!" declared Devin as Carrie grabbed the tip, "You are the best!"

Carrie blushed at this remark.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Best Friends -

Devin: I HAD to do the race with Carrie. She's smart, fast, determined...

Carrie: Aww...

Devin: ... and my girlfriend Shelly was busy. (Carrie stared at the screen, shocked).

\- End Confessional -

* * *

The mall goers were next, Eric was holding Hailey as she grabbed the tip. Behind them, the tennis rivals each held the same zip line with aggression.

"Need a hand?" Gerry asked, right before he pushed Pete with a shove of his hand, causing the poor senior to fall down to the lake, screaming, he himself said, "That was for Wimbleton in '77! (He then grabs of of the copies of the tip.) Gotcha (He then realized that he grabbed the tip with BOTH of his hand, letting go of the handlebars, causing him to fall) Aww, DANG IT! (He splashed into the lake.)"

Brother and Sister took notice of this, Elsa, saying, "Are they competing against all of US, or EACH OTHER?"

* * *

Meanwhile back at the skywalk, the last stretch of scare participants were still there. Owen was having an easy time staying firmly on the floor due to his weight. Noah on the other hand, looked like he was about to be taken away by the strong gusts of wind at any given moment. Owen actually took notice of this, saying, "You need to put on a few pounds." Unfortunately, the aforementioned statement proved true as Noah was suddenly starting to get drifted away by the wind! Owen grabbed on but was being pulled along with Noah, the latter's body acting like a sail in terms of this effect. Eventually they reached the door, and the edge of the skywalk! Owen had grabbed onto the wall connected to the door, hanging on for dear life. The next thing anyone knew, Noah was screaming, "DO NOT. LET. GO!"

* * *

\- Team Confessional - Reality TV Pros -

Noah and Owen looked like a mess, all of their features fooled horrible, and their hair was sticking out of place.

Noah: (Stunned) Maybe doing this show wasn't such a good idea...

Owen: (Just as stunned) ... ... Maybe...

\- End Confessional -

* * *

The Mall-Goers are now on the zip line themselves. While they zoomed down, Hailey was able to grab the next tip with ease. "Yes! Who-hoo!" Hailey cheered.

"Alright, way to go, Hailey!" Eric cheered.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Mall-Goers -

Eric: Hailey and I have our own unique skills, and a shared determination for this race. As long as we work together, there is nothing we cant accomplish.

Hailey: It's a good thing too. The competition means business, but we just need to keep working together and we'll be able come out on top in the end!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Next, the Police Cadets were at the zip line.

MacArthur declared, "First one to grab a tip gets the top bunk back at our dorm room."

Sanders simply said, "I ALREADY have the top bunk."

"Not for long!"

The two then headed down the zip line.

* * *

Next in the rooftop. The Surfer Dudes were the next team to finish the Stairs. Brody was cheering, saying, "Yeah! We did it!" Unfortunately he then screamed in pain, then promptly fell to the floor. He began to grasp his legs in pain, screaming "ARGH! My calves! MY CALVES!"

Geoff looked at his partner with worry as Yin & Yang made it out the Stairs, followed promptly by Father & Son. Dwayne was so out of breath, he would only let out wheezes every time he tried to talk to junior.

The next team out of the stairs was the Daters. "We did it baby!" Stephanie said.

Ryan noticed Geoff and Brody, then said, "Whoa, watch your step sweet cheeks."

He then picked her up and carried her on one of his large shoulders. She really like this, saying, "Mmm! I LOVE it when you get all gentleman-like!"

* * *

Noah and Owen finally got out of the skywalk, followed by the Geniuses, who were covered with vomit. Clearly, Noah had a weak stomach out there.

"Well that was illuminating," said Ellody, as she and Mary noticed a fly near them.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Geniuses -

The two were wiping the puke off.

Ellody: Based on the splatter, the wind velocity was... 45 knots. 20 more, and WE'D be splattered.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Carrie and Devin landed on the airport island, then read their tip, both of them saying, "Morocco? (Gasp) WOOHOO! (Laughs)." They both run to the airport, followed by the Mall-Goers.

* * *

The Police Cadets got their tip, while the Rockers, Seducers, Goths, and LARPers got out of the skywalk, in that order. Unfortunately, the Surfer Dudes were still stuck at the stair exit, Brody still in pain saying, "Argh, leg cramp!" While Geoff was reassuring him, the Stepbrother were finally out of stairs!

* * *

The next teams down the zip line, in order, were the Sisters, Geniuses, Vegans, Father & Son, Yin & Yang, Fashion Bloggers, Mother & Daughter, and the Reality TV Pros. Don commented on this saying, "As more teams get themselves on flights one and two, the race to NOT come in last intensifies."

* * *

The Adversity Twins ALSO pass the Surfer dudes, Jay saying, "Almost there Mickey, stay with me!"

Mickey was being dragged along the floor, wide eyed, and delusional, he was muttering something weird that sounded like, "I'm a dainty princess..."

Then the Superfans stepped out of the stairs, runing more slowly then when they started, Topher saying, "Finally!"

Sierra just gave him all look of disapproval as they ran past the Surfer Dudes, Geoff telling his partner, "Come ON bro, we gotta MOVE!"

Geoff then proceeded to drag Brody with him to the zip line. Brody reacted to the sudden movement, saying, "(In pain) Potassium. NEED POTASSIUM!"

Geoff called out, "DOES ANYBODY HAVE A BANANA!?" which got him a weird look from the tour guide.

* * *

As the seducers get their tip they blow kisses while smirking at the camera as they go down the zip line. Behind them were the Stepbrothers.

"GET OFF!" Said Lorenzo, who was with Chet, going down the zip line, "I snagged it, I read it!" But then, they hit the bottom, followed by the Superfans, then by the Surfer Dudes.

"Sorry," Said Geoff to the other two teams, "Thanks for breaking our fall, dudes! (Reads the tip in Lorenzo's hand) Morocco? Guy! Awesome!"

Geoff jumped out of the way, followed by Yin & Yang, The Stepbrothers were trying to get up as the Seducers passed them, but the guys were trampled, AGAIN, this time by the Adversity Twins.

"(Finally lucid again) WOW!" Said Mickey, "I can't believe we did it! Oh (Notices the stepbrothers) Uh... sorry."

Jay then reads the tip aloud, "Take the next flight to Morocco. (To Mickey) Come on!"

Mickey simply says, "(With both worry and sarcasm) Yay. Flying."

* * *

After they left we see the Tennis Rivals, who have finally got out of the water. Then Don does the last V.O. of the episode.

"The teams have arrived, and the flights have been booked.

Flight number one will carry Father & Son, Best Friends, Daters, Seducers, Police Cadets, Ice Dancers, Mall-Goers, and the Reality TV Pros.

Flight number two will carry the Sisters, Vegans, Fashion Bloggers, Steampunks, Mom & Daughter, Rockers, Yin & Yang, and the Geniuses.

And flight number three carries the LARPers, Goths, Surfer Dudes, Brother & Sister, Adversity Twins, Stepbrothers, Superfans, and Tennis Rivals.

Who will win the first leg of our race? Tune in next time to find out. The Ridonculous Race... is To Be Continued! (Ends with his signature flashy grin)"

End of Chapter Notes:

This. Is. AWESOME! I am very please with how this chapter came out! Anyways, review whenever you have the time. And If you have any questions, fell free to ask them via review, or by PM-ing either me or Gwent Forever. I personally hope that this get's popular. Until next time! ;-)


	2. Zero Down, 24 To Go, Part 2

\- Author's Notes -

Usually Don would be doing a recap before we get to these notes, but I'm afraid that wont be the case this time around. We will just start with the notes: Shall we?

First, Reviews from those with accounts on this site...

 **Meowth's Toon Dragon** : I'm glad you like the story. I just hope that opinion will remain unchanged.

Now, the Reviews left behind by Guests.

 **AA** : Thank you for the comment. It means a lot. Trust me.

Now that the replies are out of the way, let's get to the story, right?

\- End Author's Notes -

* * *

Let's start with Don's V.O. Shall we? Don states that, "16 Teams are already on their way to Morocco. The other 8 are still at the airport... waiting anxiously..."

These six teams are having light conversation with one another about the usual thing. Well, the usual thing that's normal for THEM anyway. Just look at the Adversity Twins...

Mickey was offering hand sanitizer to his twin and partner, Jay, who replied, "No need, I made a point of not touching ANYTHING with my bare hands. Juice?" He asked, holding up a juice box... wearing mittens on his hands... MITTENS.

"GREETINGS Gentlemen!" Leonard declared, him and his partner, Tammy, literally popping up out of nowhere, "What say ye to an amalgamation of adversaries? A weaving of wizards and doppelgangers to rule them all!" After this little offer, Tammy threw a bunch of confetti into the air... Which alarmed Jay, who yelled, "AHHH! I'm allergic to confetti!"

"Jay," Yelled Mickey, going after him, "Your calamine lotion!"

* * *

Another example would be the Stepbrothers... Chet was on one of the payphones, calling home.

"Your plan's not gonna work, mom!" he can be heard saying, "We're not gonna become friends! (Hearing his mother on the other line) Because Lorenzo is a POO-HEAD! That's why! Can't you just divorce his dad!?"

Unfortunately Lorenzo came by, hearing that last part, then had an argument with the Stepbrother, saying, "HEY, Is that my DAD?"

"No my mom- !"

"DAD! (Lorenzo snatched the phone away from Chet) YOU GOTTA DIVORCE CHET'S MOM!"

"(Chet grabbing the phone back) Quit it! (They both try to pull the phone away from each other, like there was no tomorrow) Let go! MOM!"

"DAD!"

* * *

Meanwhile, the LARPers tried the same thing with the Goths. "Salutations!" He said, "We wish to propose an unstoppable adjoining of alchemy and alabaster! To vanquish those who dare to cross us!" Once again Tammy throws confetti in the air. The Goths simply sit there, and continue to stare forward, completely bored at everything around them. Leonard tries again saying, "Surely, you shall not say nay?" Unfortunately the Goths simply sigh and walk away. Tammy then threw more confetti into the air, surprising Leonard. "Come on Tammy," He said, "Go easy on that, we only have the one bag." Tammy simple threw more confetti.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: LARPers -

Leonard: Tammy and I first met in freshman year, and we were immediately very close.

Tammy: We were stuffed into the same locker...

Leonard: ... and the friendship was FORGED as we calmly ate out lunches and waited for the janitor to locate the bolt cutters!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Don, does a V.O. explaining the next challenge and it's location, "Morocco, originally called Italy, until it was discovered that there ALREADY was an Italy! Home to scorchingly hot foods as well as scorchingly hot deserts! Flight Number One has just landed. (We now see Don standing right next to a Don box right outside the airport entrance.) Now the Teams must find this Don Box and collect their next travel tip!"

The Ice Dancers are the first ones to press the button and grab the tip. After the entire group got their tip at hand, Jacques read his copy aloud. "The Spice is right... " he said, "(Gasp) (Cheery voice) It's an All In!"

* * *

Don is scene walking toward a kiosk, saying to the audience, "An All In is a challenge that requires BOTH team members to participate. In this case, teams must make their way to Yusef's Spice Kiosk and choose five spices from the bountiful array. Some are- (Yusef slaps Don's hand away from the spices) OW! Some are sweet, while some are so blisteringly hot, they'll turn your insides into a molten volcano of pain!"

The individual teams read the tip which says.

* * *

"Pick five spices from the kiosk, ideally cumin, cinnamon, paprika, saffron, and ginger to receive your next travel tip."

Unfortunately the Reality TV Pros were the last ones to read the tip, as all the OTHER teams in the group ran right through them like a stampede. They rished to the taxi stop, each team getting into their own taxi, and the group just took off. Owen simply lifted his arm with the tip held firmly in hand, off the ground, yelling "TAXI!"

* * *

Inside the individual Taxi Cars some of the teams were engaging in conversation. Take Father & Son for Example.

"Isn't this nice" Dwayne asked his son, "Right into a taxi and headed strait for spice town! (he takes his son by the shoulder and pulls him close, y'know, the way fathers typically do) We're doing great pal (Laughs). Yeah!"

Junior simply groans at his embarrassment...

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Father & Son -

Dwayne: I'm Dwayne, this is Dwayne Junior.

Junior: They already know that...

Dwayne: Uh, we're a father and son team...

Junior: They know that too, dad.

Dwayne: Well, we're gonna WIN this thing! Betcha they didn't know that! (Laughs) News flash! (Does a noise with his voice similar to a cheesy news opening theme) Just in, father and son team win the million! (does the crowd-going-crazy noise)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

\- Taxi Confessional: Reality TV Pros -

Owen: Even after Total Drama World Tour, I'm still kinda scared of flying... So, I have this to help! (Holds a stuffed teddy bear in his hands.) His named Bearie, (snorts in laughter) get it?

Noah: (Bored and emotionless) Because he's a bear?

Owen: (Happy) Yeah! (Laughs) He keeps me calm during flights. Noah doesn't like him that much, but he sure likes Noah! (Owen then repeatedly and playfully shoves the bear at Noah face, while Noah simple sits there, his expression unchanged.) (Imitates childish voice) Oh yes I do!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Another example would be with the Seducers. Who were having a strategy meeting in their Taxi.

"So... what do you think of the others?" Rosa asked Madison. She replied with, "Child's play, we'll have them worshiping us in no time. And I even have a few ideas on who to attract first (sinister smile)..."

"That million will be ours by seasons end," Rose said, more to herself then to Madison.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Seducers -

Madison: Okay. Truth be told, we don't REALLY need the money. We're both already rich. We came to this show for other reasons. I came for the men.

Rose: And I simply came for the glory of winning and the fame that comes with it. Because, well, who wouldn't want to gloat over their first international victory, right?"

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Don does another V.O. saying, "Meanwhile, the teams on flight 2 are preparing for cold-hearted battle."

In the flight Jen was reading a fashion magazine, saying "Oh, I'd look SO good in that."

Unfortunately she couldn't really focus on the article due to Tom's snoring. She then reached above her for the emergency O2 mask, and pulled it over Tom's face, muffling his snoring instantly.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Rockers -

Rock: Spud and I have never been on a plane before... Not scared though, I've seen LOTS of planes on TV.

Spud: (Listening in) Uhh... Oh, yeah! I love that cartoon!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Don does another V.O. as we go back to the kiosk, "Some of the teams from Flight 1 have already reached the spice, kiosk." And true enough the Daters, Ice Dancers, Police Cadets, Best Friends, and Mall-Goers were running right up to the sacks and baskets of spices in front. Unfortunately...

"Hey," MacArthur said, "These aren't labeled. Why aren't they labeled?"

"It's this one," cried Carrie, "This is cinnamon! This is cinnamon! This is cinnamon!"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Best Friends -

Devin: (Playfully) Cinnamon! Cinnamon-cinnamon-cinnamon! (He and Carrie share a laugh).

Carrie: You TOTALLY would've missed it homie.

Devin: (To the camera) We call each other "Homie" (to Carrie) and as IF I would've missed it.

Carrie: I'm the one who LIVES for cinnamon lattes.

Devin: YEAH, which you constantly spill on me!

Carrie: (Laughs) Fair enough. I'll never doubt your ability to detect cinnamon ever again.

\- Team Confessional: Mall-Goers -

Eric: I can tell which spices are which. I study the culinary world as a hobby.

Hailey: That's gonna come in handy for this challenge.

Eric: BUT, I decided to be fair and let the other teams try to take the spices on their own.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Eric looked as Stephanie was trying to identify the cumin. She sniffed one of the bags, then went pre-mental saying, "Wait! (Points to the bag she sniffed) THAT'S cumin. Yes. UH, no... wait... Yes! No! YES... ... (Directly at Yusef's face) SCOOP IT!"

Eventually, all of the teams present had made their choices for the five spices. Don does the next V.O. saying, "After selecting five spices, the Teams get their next travel tip from Yusef." Jacques gasped in shock when he read his copy of the tip, saying, "We have to ride to a restaurant in the desert... on a CAMEL!" I can honestly say that those camels were torture to witness, the ones in real-life Egypt looked more sanitary than those poor thins. And the spit, UGH! ... Wait... I broke the fourth wall didn't I... ... SORRY! I'll just get back to the show...

* * *

We now see each of the six teams riding camels through the desert.

Hailey was suffering so much. "I hate this," she said, "It's hot, I'm sweaty, and these camels smell like crap!"

MacArthur hear that last remark. Never a friend of personal hygiene until the last minute, she smelled her pits, then was instantly repulsed, "Sh-She's Right!" she exclaimed, trying to hide it, "I-It's DEFINITELY the camels!" Sanders gave her a weird look. Don proceeds with his voice over, saying, "As the first Teams head off into the desert, Flight 2 has arrived in Morocco." Everyone in from the second flight got into taxis, except for Mom & Daughter who was left behind as Taylor yelled out, "Taxi! Hurry UP, mom! (Kelly running behind her)"

* * *

Don. V.O. again, "Meanwhile, Flight 3 is FINALLY up in the air... and teams discuss some strategy."

We see Sierra looking out the window, smiling at the view. Topher who is sitting next to her, gives her a look of disapproval. She turns and notices this. "Look," she said, "I won the coin toss for the window seat, fair and square, okay? So, just deal with it."

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Superfans -

Topher: Sierra's just jealous that I'm the REAL Chris McLean fan between the two of us.

Sierra: (Gasping in shock) I can't believe- ! I wasn't the one who tried to REPLACE him as the host of Total Drama!

Topher: (aggressive) Well at least I wasn't the one who was tricked into embarrassing him on international television! Isn't that right, Ms. Fametown? (Sierra got wide-eyed at this, then angrily slapped Topher. HARD.)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Meanwhile the Reality TV Pros, Seducers, and Father & Son were finally at the Spice Kiosk. Unfortunately, Owen was having a hard time with the spices... "Um... I, uh... um... "

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Reality TV Pros -

Owen: Picking the right spices was hard, but I didn't panic.

\- End Concessional -

* * *

Owen was right, he didn't panic... He went absolutely ballistic, screaming in fear, "Why do they all look the SAME!? (Running away) AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The other two teams present gave an awkward stare. Then the Seducers simply ordered 5 random spices from the kiosk, and went on their merry way... with grim looks on their faces as the prospect of having to ride a filthy animal. Dwayne looked at everyone with concern.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Father & Son -

Dwayne: It's not a MAN'S job to know spices. (Proudly) Back in ancient times, WOMEN were the spice collectors, while MEN were the HUNTERS! (Laughs) Yep! Those were the days! Men had the power and-

Junior: (Interrupting) You know mom's gonna see this, right dad?

Dwayne: (In absolute shock, realizing what his son JUST said was true) And, uh, times have changed! (Laughs nervously) Yay.

Junior simply does a facepalm.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Junior notices a group of Taxi Cars heading their way. "Oh no, the other teams are heading this way!" he said, "We're gonna loose our lead!"

"Alright, new plan!" Dwayne said, "Well do the same thing those girls (Seducers) just did and just pick any random 5!"

"Good Call," said Noah, who now had a slightly calmer Owen with him, "(To Yusef) Just give us the five closest to you. (Yusef shows a look of concern. Apparently, he CAN understand English) C'mon man, snap to it! My teammate will eat anything. I even saw him chow down on half a shower curtain!" Owen heard that last part and said innocently, "There were pictures of cupcakes on it..."

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Geniuses -

Ellody: We predict, there's an eating element to the next challenge. So, picking the right spices is of the utmost importance.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Cumin. Cinnamon. Paprika. Saffron. Ginger." Ellody of the Geniuses and Laurie of the Vegans got all 5 spices right in under 3 seconds flat! "That was SURPRISINGLY elementary," said Ellody.

"I know, right?" replied Laurie. Both teams got their tip copies. Don does, his next V.O. saying, "As more teams reach the spice kiosk, Flight 3 has finally landed in Morocco. They'll need to hurry it up if they want a chance at catching up to the Teams already in search of The Culinary."

* * *

We now see the Sisters at the kiosk. "Last one!" declared Emma. They got the other four spices right, all that's left was the cumin... "I think it's this one," said Kitty, pointing at a random sack, JUST as the Adversity Twins were Finally Catching up. Same with Yin & Yang.

"We don't have time for guessing games, Kit!" said Emma, "Uh... I don't know... (points to a random basket) This one? (Yusef scoops the spice up)"

"So YOU can guess but I CAN'T?"

"Mine is an EDUCATED guess. Can you PLEASE not throw a temper tantrum right now!?"

Kitty just stood there, wide-eyed. The then followed her sister in defeat, choosing not to make an audible reaction, especially with her sister's added cry of, "HURRY UP!"

* * *

\- Commercial Break -

"Is THIS one cinnamon?"

Jay had been looking at some of the spices with curiosity... unfortuately when he SNIFFED that one particular sack, he sneezed, sending the contents flying everywhere, including all over the Adversity Twins! Jay was sneazing, while Mickey, seems to have a very hard time breathing. Yin & Yang stood there, wathing the whole thing happen.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Adversity Twins -

Mickey: Apparently, we can't breathe in cinnamon.

\- Team Confessional: Yin & Yang -

Greg: WOW. (with concern) Those two are REALLY unlucky...

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Don, via V.O. says, "While the last of the teams finally pick out their spices, they STILL have a long journey ahead of them!"

First we see the Vegans who were walking alongside their camel instead of riding it...

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Vegans -

Laurie: Our camel, Bennefred, was beautiful, and the desert sun can be harsh. If we win the million, we'll lauch a "stop riding camels campain."

Miles: "Take hikes, not humps!"

Laurie: Or... we could call it something else... (awkward pause)

\- End confessional -

* * *

... Then we see the Steampunks, who were making good time and a steady pace with their camel. "Next stop, the restaurant!" declared, Wayne.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Steanpunks -

Wayne: I really don't mind hot weather like this.

Cynthia: It's usually the cold that gets us ticked off.

Wayne: We are in our element out here. (Grins)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Things are starting to heat up as the Police Cadets are the first to reach the desert restaurant," said Don through V.O. Sanders went to the Don Box next to the restaurant kiosk while MacArthur layd next to their camel, weak from the dessert trek. "I can't take this heat," she moaned, "Someone turn off the sun!"

Sanders looked at the tip, saying, "It's a botch or watch... 'just stew it.' huh"

MacArthur, slightly weak, said, "A Botch or Watch... That's the type of challenge only one of us has to do right?"

Botch or Watch: "Just Stew it." Hand your spices over to the chef, so he can add them to a bowl of traditional Moroccan Stew, which one of you MUST eat. When you finish your stew, race on foot as fast as you can to the Chill Zone.

After hearing Sanders read the tip out loud, MacArthur said, "Oh boy... I sure hope we picked the right spices, or this could get ugly FAST!

* * *

"Remember!" said Don, from the Chill Zone, "The last team to reach this Chill Zone, WILL be cut from the Race!"

* * *

The Police Cadets receive their stew. MacArthur is no longer weak, but becomes VERY nervous as the sight of the stew, "I can't do it," she said, "I'm sweatin' like a perp being questioned inside a hot dog cart!"

"Okay, ew, gross," said Sanders.

The next three teams to arrive at one were the Mall-Goers, Ice Dancers and Best friends. Speaking of the Ice Dancers, Josee was looking at a rabbit's foot in her hand, saying, "Come on, Bun-Bun. DON'T let us down..."

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Ice Dancers -

Josee: (Holding "Bun-Bun") I'm not superstitious or anything. I just believe that this rabbit's foot is responsible for everything good in my life.

Jacques: Can I rub it?

Josee: (Laughs, but turns serious, still smiling calmly) Of course you can't!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

We now see a scene in the desert. Father & Son were currently, with a VERY weak camel. It has fainted and Dwayne was trying to pull it forward. The LARPers passed by, riding their own, Leonard saying, "I do not wish to overstep, but 'tis far easier to RIDE the camel."

Dwayne angrily replied, "Well, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

"(Genuine) You're welcome!"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Father & Son -

Dwayne: Our camel broke down earlier during the race.

Junior: It fainted because you kept hitting it, dad.

Dwayne: (Laughs nervously)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

The LARPers then passed the Vegans who had their own things to say.

(Miles) "Take Hikes, Not Humps!"

(Laurie) "Okay, that slogan is really growing on me."

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Vegans -

Laurie: Miles and I became friends when we met during an anti-meat meeting.

Miles: When Laurie suggested that we just call them "Ings" instead of "MEAT-ings," I knew we were gonna get along.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Don, via V.O. says, "While the LARPers dig themselves out of last place, the race for first heats up as more teams dive into the restaurant challenge!"

Don is actually right, all of the teams, save for Father & Son, the Vegans, and the LARPers, were already present, all ready to take the stew.

* * *

\- Solo Confessional: Carrie -

Devin was slurping his stew up, meanwhile from afar, Carrie was looking at him, staring at him. "(Dreamily) Oh," she said, "Devin... (She turns around and noticed the camera behind her) (Shocked) Uhh... ! That- That was- I was just... ... (Blurt it out) Okay I love him! I fell in love with him ever since we were four and he peed in my turtle pool. I mean, that's not WHY I love him, that's just when it started! But after all this time, how do I tell him? And what if he doesn't feel the same way... I mean... he already has a girlfriend, SHELLY... (goes wide-eyes realizing) ... who will see this on TV. (Facepalms) What am I doing!?

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Devin then suddenly lifted his now empty bowl in the air, screaming, "YEAH! DONE! WOOHOO!" Carrie went to hug him. He then said saying, "Come on, we're in FIRST!"

The next team to finish their stew was the Steampunks, Cyntha was the one who finished. Afterwards she wiped her mouth, then told her brother, "Finished! Shall we?"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Steampunks -

Cynthia: Truth be told, I already tasted Moroccan stew before so I was the one who would eat it this time. (Wayne was about to say something, but Cynthia just covered his mouth with her hand) You DON'T want to know...

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Another team to mention would be the Police Cadets. Sanders was calmly slurping her stew, while lightly wiping her mouth with EVERY. SINGLE. SIP. It lasted for a few second. Then, finally, MacArthur just lost it, saying, "Stop WIPING. Your face. And CHUG!"

Sanders argued that, "THIS is how CIVILIZED people eat."

"This ain't a tea party! It's a RACE for a million dollars. NOW CHUG! (forcefully moving the bowl to a higher angle, giving sanders no choice BUT to chug. In a few seconds the bow was empty, MacArthur holding it high in the air.) FREEZE! I mean, DONE! WHOO! (Then noticed the mess the stew left on Sanders' face) Oh... Allow me to get that for you princess. (She then vigorously wiped Sanders' face clean. Sanders just has this awkward pause on her face.)

Unfortunately this little moment stopped then and there, as the two hears Jacques squealing with joy. They looked and saw Josee, slurping her bowl of stew. Cleanly, and quickly. While, at the same time, doing a balance pose. "A wonderful performance of grace and efficiency!" he declared, "BRAVO!"

MacArthur said, "Uh-oh... Move it!" The Police Cadets began to run, the Ice Dancers not far behind.

* * *

Ahead, the Best Friends were running as fast as they can, victory was SO close! But then, Carrie tripped over a rock. When she tried to get up, she felt a slight pain on her left ankle. She wasn't hurt, but she knew she pulled something. As she tried again, Devin walked up to her, saying, "You okay, homie?"

The next thing they knew, Devin was carrying Carrie with a single arm wrapped around her, carrying her like a swing-set swing. "Whoa! (Laughs) Take it easy, Romeo," she said.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Best Friends -

Devin: You know, it would be awkward for most teams to be so close to each other, but Carrie and I? We're such good friends that it's like, pf, whatever!

Carrie: (Laughs briefly) Yeah, (short laugh again) Whatever! (awkward version of short laugh) Friends!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Meanwhile back at the restaurant, people were still doing the soup challenge. Geoff and Ellody decided to strike a conversation with one another, Geoff saying, "When I first met Brody, he was eating a cat's hairball on a dare! (Laughs) It was pure awesome!"

Ellody replied, "I met Mary at an Engineering Students' Potluck Dinner. We both brought Pie-Chart-Pie! (Does a nerdy laugh) We're quite whimsical."

At this, Geoff simply laughed, then absentmindedly said, "Pies..."

* * *

UN-Fortunately, things were going bad for both the Reality TV Pros, and Yin & Yang... they were the only two teams to get ALL. FIVE. SPICES. WRONG! ... And both Owen and Seth were suffering for it. Owen said, "Hot... HOT! (Panting, then Shoving the bowl in front of Noah) I think you picked the wrong spices!"

Noah simply replied with, "(Shoving Owen back) Oh, come on! I've seen you eat, you're about as picky as a raccoon; JUST DO IT!"

A similar conversation was happening next to them, "I... " Seth began, "I don't feel so hot... "

"Oh no... " said Greg, face full of worry. "Please tell me I didn't pick the wrong spices!"

* * *

Meanwhile on the trek to the Chill Zone, Sanders stomach felt like a grenade went off inside it (Three incorrect spices). "Ugh! Ohhh... " she moaned, "(Less moan-ish) I think I got a s-stew-cramp. Ohhh HURTS!"

MacArthur simple said, "Never leave a man behind. (Now she was CARRYING Sanders, again.)"

"OW! THIS hurts!"

"Not MY fault you've got no meat on your bones!"

* * *

Other's had LESS trouble with the stew. The sisters only got one spice wrong, for example, so the only bad thing they got was a bitter-sour taste for their stew. A taste like that, while not so puke inducing, still makes Emma feel repulsed. "Come on Emma," Kitty cheered, "You can do it!"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Sisters -

Emma: We chose one of the wrong spices.

Kitty: Um, you chose ALL 5 of the spices. (Get's a cold, stern look from Emma) ... which is good because... I was just gonna guess. (Let's out a loud breath of relief)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Tom was also slurping stew when Jen stopped him, "Whoa Tom, SLOW DOWN a sec! You don't want anything on that shirt!" Tom stopped, realizing it, and said, "(Gasp) YOU are SO right! Can you imagine?"

* * *

\- Commercial Break -

Devin was still carrying, well, Carrie as he ran through the desert. Suddenly...

"LOOK!" Carrie said, pointing ahead of her. There it was...

The Chill Zone. They has cheered until the were finally on the Carpet of Completion. Don was there, He said "Welcome Best Friends to the Chill Zone! You two are the first ones to arrive! Congratulations."

The two cheered! At this incredible feat. They were first... and on the VERY first Episode! "WE DID IT (LAUGHS)!" Devin declared, "MAN!... ... I wish I could call Shelly."

"Yeah," Carrie said, a face full of awkward, "Shelly... "

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Best Friends -

Devin: Coming in first was a bit of a shock. I mean... I knew we'd be a great team and all, but-

Carrie: First Place!? Wow!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Back at the stew challenge Seth was loosing it... he had swallowed all of his stew... but he looked... unwell. He was groaning in pain.

"Uh, dude?" Greg asked, "Are you okay?" He couldn't speak... then... Owen ACTUALLY swallowed camel spit. DISGUSTING. Greg managed to cover Seth's eyes so he wouldn't see this and puke... He himself, wasn't so lucky and blew out chunks...

The Same almost happened to Chet. The vomit was JUST entering his mouth when Lorenzo took notice of this and yelled, "Do NOT spit that out Chet, or we'll LOSE!"

\- Team Confessional: Stepbrothers -

Lorenzo: My dad is a motivational speaker, and has taught me everything I need to know. (Grinning mischievously) Including how and when to be aggressive.

\- End Confessional -

Lorenzo the looked directly into Chet's eyes, yelling, "Swallow! Do it! DO IT!" This ALONE was enough to convince Chet to swallow. Afterwards he then said, "My barf was actually less spicy than the stew... "

Unfortunately he said that a little TOO out loud, EVERY one else was on the verge of puking.

The LARPers and Vegans arrived at the scene, Leonard saying, "We have to eat our own BARF!?" This caused one of the CAMELS to puke. ALL OVER Miles' head!

To this camel puke, Laurie said, "(Gasp) REAL organic camel munch!" ... ... gross.

Luckily, Eric had JUST finished his bowl of stew. "DONE!" he cried in fear, "Hailey, let's get out of here before I puke my heart out!"

Feeling equally as queasy, Hailey replied with a classic, "You don't have to tell me twice!" The two then promptly ran off in the direction the Police Cadets went.

Speaking of the Police Cadets...

* * *

"OOOHHH! It HURTS! So Bad!" cried Sanders... the poor cadet... Anyway, they (well, more MacArthur than Sanders) were running along side the Steampunks, when all of a sudden, they heard a cheer from a voice with a French accent. The turned around, and sure enough, the Ice Dancers were right behind them. And catching up quickly! Jacques carrying Josee with a single hand! ... And the two of them were smiling, even though the rest of each of their faces had an expression of deep anger. Cynthia actually pointed this out saying, "Well, that's just creepy..." Unfortunately they (the Ice Dancers) crashed, headlong into a palm tree! Cynthia pointed this out as well, yelling out to them, "Way to go you, silvery numpties!" (British term for "Idiots") MacArthur followed in terms of insults saying, "HAH! Later Skaters! (To Sanders) Ya see what I did there?"

"Yeah," Sanders replied.

"Cause they're actual-"

"Yeah, I-I got it!"

Eventually the other teams began to finish their stew as well. But that was not enough for any of them to catch up with MacArthur... even the Steampunks were starting to lag behind. Unfortunately, the Ice Dancers, back on their feet, were catching up, FAST! They has passed the Steampunks, and were just about to pass the Police Cadets!

But MacArthur kept her ground, and ran even harder. With the finish line so close, MacArthur made one final leap! Literally. And landed on the center of the Carpet of Completion!

"Hey, who called the cops!?" Don joked. He then laughed before saying, "What FUN! You're Team Number Two Well Done! (As the Police Cadet's left, he then talked to the Ice Dancers) So... as a Canadian Ice Dancing Team, you probably hear this a lot... Third Place."

Josee smiled... but her left eye twitched...

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Ice Dancers -

Josee, off-screen is trashing the entire room. Objects flying in and out of view, flung angrily, according to the wailing. A KNIFE ended up stuck to the poster behind the seats! During this whole thing, Jacques was sitting in the chair FARTHER from the destruction, curled up in fright, covering his head out of both fear and shame...

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Don, via V.O. tells which team came in when:

"4th Place (Steampunks)! 5th Place (Mall-Goers)! 6th (Tennis Rivals)! 7th (Daters)! 8th (Surfer Dudes)! 9th (Brother & Sister)! 10th (Geniuses)! 11th (Reality TV Pros)! 12th (Rockers)! 13th (Seducers)! 14th (Fashion Bloggers)! 15th (Yin & Yang)! 16th (Sisters)!"

Emma was shocked "16th!?" she said to Kitty, "You've got to start doing more!"

Kitty replied, "I would LOVE to do more, please!"

"I will tell you when you can do more, okay? I will tell YOU!"

* * *

Back at the stew challenge, the last of the teams were all there (Father & Son, Vegans, Mom & Daughter, LARPers, Goths, Adversity Twins, Stepbrothers, and Superfans)! And the Superfans just finished their stew. The others were actually almost done!

"Ugh... " Topher groaned, "Worst meal of my life- "

"At least you've FINISHED it! MOVE" interrupted Sierra, who then pulled Topher, running towards the Chill Zone! The Adversity twins actually left without saying a word!

"Dad come on! You gotta eat this stew or we're gonnabe in last place!" Junior told his father, who replied, "(Pant) Yeah, in (pant) in... (pant) in a minute! (pant)"

"My mom's done!" Yelled Taylor as Mom & Daughter went to the Chill Zone themselves.

Even the Stepbrothers... MAN! "We're done!" Lorenzo said. Chet simply groaned, "I don't feel so good."

"That's cause you ate PUKE, puke-eater (Running towards the Chill zone)!"

"Yeah!? Well you're a... Puke... Eater-watcher! (Following his stepbrother)."

* * *

\- Solo Confessional: Dwayne Junior -

Junior: I didn't sign up for this show, and I don't really want to be here. But now that I am, I SURE don't want to be the first team kicked out!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Come ON dad" Junior told his father, "Like you always say to me, never say quit!"

"Actually its... never say never..."

"I don't really listen to you. Just get up and EAT!"

* * *

"17th!" declared Don as the Superfans made it to the Chill Zone. "YES!" They both cried, they smiled until they realized they said the exact same thing, and turned away from each other.

"18th (Adversity Twins)! 19th (Mother and Daughter)! 20th (Goths)! 21st (Stepbrothers)! Now there are only three teams left! The Vegans, the LARPers, and Father & Son. One of these teams, WILL be heading home."

* * *

"I hope we got the right spices... " Said Dwayne... unfortunately, they got 2 of the spices wrong... and created a fireball stew. The proof? A fly landed on stew... and burst into flames.

"Dad," Junior told his father, "we are in LAST PLACE you've gotta hurry, and down this stew!"

At that moment the LARPers finished their stew, yelling things like, "Level Completed!" or "Onward to victory!"

Dwayne looked back to his son, then to the stew. He just stood there for a second... then he literally pour the stew down his throat, shouting a war cry as he did so! "Whoa... " went his son, clearly impressed with this act. Unfortunately...

"We're done!" the Vegans had also left! Junior and his dad really WERE in last place! Luckily, Dwayne had finished the stew. Junior screamed, "DONE!" But, the moment he did his fathers eyes somehow FORCED themselves out of focus! "Oh no!" The poor man cried, "Temporary blindness! I can't see!"

"Come on!" Junior yelled, dragging his father with him to the Chill Zone.

As Leonard and Tammy ran, they saw that, the other two teams were catching up. FAST.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: LARPers -

Tammy: They were catching up so fast!

Leonard: We were left with no choice! To maintain our lead, we needed to use... magic!"

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Tammy yelled, "Song of Slumber!" taking out her flute.

Leonard yelled, "CHAOS BARRIER!" taking out his staff.

But... nothing happened, note to all Live Action Role Players out there... sometimes its necessary to break the 4th freaking wall!

The two other teams passed by the LARPers. Who were confused. "Huh? There's something wrong with my stick... "

"Hurry!"

* * *

After the last bit of running, two teams made it...

"Congratulations Vegans! You're 22nd!" Said Don as the two hippies stepped on the carpet.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Vegans -

Laurie: We stuck to our principles, and we're still in the race. I guess nice guys finish ALMOST last!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"And here comes 23rd" Don declared as Father & Son entered the Chill Zone. The father looked confused as he kept running forward, muttering something about finding a tree.

Junior encouraged this, saying, "We're almost there, dad!"

Don just asked, "How long are you gonna let him run for?"

"I just needed a little break."

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Father & Son -

Dwayne: (he still couldn't see and yet he could tell his son was right net to him) 23rd place!? We-We have GOT to do better pal... Hey, I know! We're gonna stay up ALL night and talk strategy! (Giving Junior two thumbs up)

Junior: (Sarcastically) Great...

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Leonard and Tammy had finally arrived at the Chill Zone, but since they were in last place, Don just gave them the following lecture, "The Ridonculous Race is about Skill, it's about DETERMINATION. It's NOT about magic! You're done."

Tammy, well... "Time Reversal Spell!"

Don simply said "SECURITY!"

* * *

\- Final Confessional: LARPers -

Tammy: I think we could've done better...

Leonard: I got to do a lot of things I never wanted to try, so that's something.

Tammy: Hey, I'm GLAD we did this together. We could share these memories, forever!

Leonard: I still don't get why we have to WALK home...

\- Farewell to the LARPers -


	3. French Is An Eiffel Language

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race...

After shopping for spices, and camelling through the Moroccan desert, our teams built up a hearty appetite... and I lost MINE... these people are disgusting.

The winners for the first leg were Best Friends, Carrie and Devin. In my book, all the other teams were losers, but we could only get rid of one of the teams... and last week, it was the LARPers, Leonard and Tammy. I'm not sad, those wannabe wizards FREAKED me out..."

We now see Don standing in the Morocco Chill Zone. "But that was then," he concluded, "And this is... The Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

\- Opening Authors' Notes -

Hey Everybody! I hope you will enjoy this chapter! I ready am HOPING... Anyway there are the answers to the reviews we've gotten from the last chapter. This time, answered by Gwent Forever. She says:

AA: Thank you, you are so going to love what we have planned for Madison and Rosa...

Guest 1: We will be changing a few eliminations, so, we understand the circumstances of that.

Anyway, this will be Paris... like the title suggests, BUT this will be where the canon elimination order ends. The only spoiler at this point will be that the Tennis Rivals WONT be eliminated in this version. Who will? Read and Find out!

\- End Author's Notes -

* * *

We now see Don standing nearby the Best Friends at the Chill Zone. Next to them, is a Don Box. Don then says, "Yesterday's Chill Zone is today's Starting Line. Contestants depart in the order they arrived, starting with yesterday's winners, Best Friends."

Devin presses the button on the Don Box, reads the tip, then says, "Oh WOW! (to Carrie) It looks like we're going to Paris!"

Carrie then exclaims, "(Gasps) Paris? No way!"

* * *

Don does an explanation through V.O. about the destination, saying, "Paris, France. Home to the Mona Lisa, espresso coffee, and other things that annoy me like you wouldn't believe. Once in Paris, teams must make their way HERE to the Eiffel tower, and find their next tip."

We now see a parking lot full of mopeds. Devin and Carrie take one (Devin driving) and take off for the nearby airport. Carrie was cheering the moment the engine started.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Best Friends -

Carrie: I was SO, excited. Paris is THE most romantic place on Earth!

Devin: DEFINITELY. And after we win the million, I'm gonna head BACK to Paris, with Shelly!

Carrie: (She was smiling at Devin warmly the WHOLE time... until he mentioned Shelly.) YEAH! (Embarrassed) Shelly...

Devin: (To the camera, forming the shape of a heart with his fingers) I miss you so much, baby!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"There is nothing Eiffel about this Parisian landmark... " MacArthur read from the tip.

"Eiffel Tower, Paris!" Sanders Declared, "Let's Roll!"

* * *

On the road, the Best Friends were doing great time. "Almost there," said Devin. He noticed how tightly Carrie grabbed onto him and said, "Can you loosen you grip, homie?"

Then the two heard a loud honk followed by an aggressive voice, yelling, "MOVE ASIDE! EMERGENCY POLICE BUSINESS!" Then they were passed by another moped. Carrie too notice of the drivers. "(Gasp) It's the Cadets!" she said.

Now ahead, the Police Cadets did a high five, but were then passed by the Ice Dancers. They were smiling directly at the camera. There was a sense of professionalism to their smiles.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Ice Dancers -

Josee: Being sports heroes, we never know WHEN the cameras will be on us, so we simply have to smile all the time.

Jacques: All the time, even in our sleep!

Josee: It's really painful. (The two were smiling this whole time. Unlike Jacques. Josee's smile has some strain... )

\- Team Confessional: Police Cadets -

MacArthur: (to both Sanders and the camera) What's with those Ice Dancers? (Sanders smirking at this point) Don't they ever stop smiling? Do they sleep like that? Do they CRY smiling!? (fist on the palm of her other hand) (Aggressively) I'm gonna find out!

Sanders: She get's a little fixated.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Soon enough, the other teams were already on mopeds and headed their way to the airport. The Fashion Bloggers and Mall-Goers were one of the later few to leave. Hailey was next to her teams mopes, Jen and Tom were walking towards them while Eric was holding a heavy looking carpet, rolled up.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Fashion Bloggers -

Jen: If we KNEW that the fashion capital of the UNIVERSE was going to be our next stop, we probably wouldn't have spent so much on a hand-woven Moroccan Carpet.

Both: PARIS! (Jumping up and down) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

\- Team Confessional: Mall-Goers -

Hailey: I STILL can't believe that PARIS is our next stop! I'm so excited! (Grabs a hold of Eric, hugging him) If this is a dream, then I don't ever want to wake up! (Eric is blushing at this point)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Later, at the airport, the Ice Dancers were the first to reach the airport, the went to the front desk, arriving there with a typical dancing position. "Two for Paris!" Josee said to the clerk, "Do you offer free upgrades for Olympians? (Jacques did that trick with the eyebrows at this question, his smile becoming arrogant)"

After typing a few keystrokes the clerk, with an accent, said, "Ah yes! Free upgrade for all Gold metal peoples."

Upon hearing this, Josee simply said, "(Still smiling but with aggressive tone and unmoving mouth) Economy is FINE!"

A few of the other teams began to arrive. Along with the Surfer Dudes... ... ... who literally crashed into the lobby... there was luggage flying everywhere... along with one of the wheels to their moped. ... ... WOW.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Surfer Dudes -

Brody: (a pair of boxers on his head) I LOVE mopeds! I tried to JUMP one over my pool last summer, but ended up crashing right into the neighbor's gazebo! (He and Geoff share a laugh)

Geoff: (with a sock on the rim of his hat) Dude, we shouldn't laugh; we totally ruined that wedding.

Both: HA! FREE CAKE! (The two laughed again, sharing a fist bump)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Meanwhile, out on the road, some of the other teams were racing forward, the Stepbrothers slowly leading over the others, even though Chet's eyes were covered by a fearful Lorenzo as he (Chet) screamed, "Get your hands off my face!"

"Get your FACE off my HANDS!"

THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!

"The carpet's slowing us down! Lose it!"

Jen and Tom were slowly getting behind the other teams, Tom was straining with the heavy carpet they had with them, he then let out a gasp of shock at Jen's suggestion saying, "But, Jen- !"

"TOM," Jen interrupted, "We're going to PARIS."

"(Sigh... ) Your right," he said in defeat, "You're free carpet (let's the carpet go) FLY!"

Little did they know the carpet landed on top of Father & Son, causing them to crash! Later in that same spot, we see the Vegans, calmly pedaling by using their mopeds built in bike pedals.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Vegans -

Miles: We WALKED our camel through the desert yesterday instead of riding him, so that he could stay hydrated.

Laurie: Now today, were pedaling our mopeds to the airport, so that we don't use up it's fuel. (Gasp) I wish there was some way for us to give this moped to our camel, (To Miles) right?

\- End Confessional -

* * *

After getting their tickets, the Fashion Bloggers ran into both Father & Son, as well as Yin & Yang, the two teams looked like a train wreck. Jen pointed this out asking, "Oh no, what happened to you guys?"

"Strangest thing," replied Wayne, "Hit by a carpet, we ended up crashing into these guys (gesturing towards Yin & Yang). We could've been killed."

This shocked the fashion bloggers. Eventually they gave out an calm, light, awkward laugh, one at a time. They took so long laughing that it creeped the other two teams out, prompting them to back away.

* * *

Let's ... just proceed to Don's V.O. Shall we? 'Cause even I'm getting creeped out... "12 teams wait anxiously at the airport for Flight 2 to Paris, which doesn't take off for another hour and a half. So we had it covered with sad-face stickers, which is hilarious. Meanwhile the first 11 teams are already Paris-bound on flight one." True to Don's claim, the 11 teams are Best Friends, Daters, Police Cadets, Reality TV Pros, Mall-Goers, Tennis Rivals, Geniuses, Surfer Dudes, Ice Dancers, Seducers, and Steampunks.

Later, the plane lands smoothly at the airport near Paris (betcha can't guess which one that is). It is currently nighttime in the area as the plane comes to a full stop at the terminal.

Don (V.O.) they says, "Flight 1 has finally landed, and the race for first place is on!"

The 11 teams each left the airport, heading for the parking lots, where several cabs awaited them. Eventually they all got into a cab within 5-15 seconds from one another.

* * *

Later, near the Eiffel Tower some of the cabs had finally arrived, the first one to arrive was the one the Ice Dancers took. Josee simply looked at the Tower before cheering, "Gold Metal!" She then tried to cheer again, but instead screamed as another cab crashed headlong into theirs. No one got hurt, thankfully. Out of cab number 2, were the Police Cadets.

"NAILED IT!" declared MacArthur as she and Sanders ran to the nearby Don Box. Sanders personally pressed the button and took the tip. "Hm," she said, "Another Botch or Watch. And this ones fixed."

Don is seen nearby with a man who eerily resembles Vincent Van Gogh, as he (Don) says, "A FIXED Botch or Watch, is different in that the participating contestant is determined by the previous botch or watch. In this case, whoever DIDN'T eat the stew back in Morocco, must draw a caricature of their partner. When this local French artist (the Van Gogh look-alike) approves of the drawing, they will receive their next tip."

And with that, a most of the other teams from Flight 1 had arrived, ready to start their caricatures.

* * *

Best Friends: Carrie was drawing. Devin simply stood there trusting that his friend would do a good job. Carrie was devoting all of her attention to what she was drawing.

Ice Dancers: Jacques was drawing. Josee, being a performer did a pose similar to an ice dancer doing a leap. She was fully balanced.

Geniuses: Ellody was drawing. Mary was standing there. Hands touching her glasses, a smile on her face. Ellody seemed to be drawing slowly, as if trying to work like a human camera, not leaving out a single detail.

Steampunks: Wayne was drawing. Cynthia stood there her arms in front of her in a way that suggests that she was pretending to have a cane with her. Wayne took notice of this and understood what she was trying to do.

Reality TV Pros: Noah was the one drawing. Owen simply stood there as Noah looked at him every 6 seconds while drawing.

Seducers: Rosa is the one drawing. Madison is doing a seductive fashion pose, a sinister smile on her face.

Daters: Stephanie was drawing. Ryan was doing a pose that showed the definition of his upper body strength, bouncing his pecs in the process. Stephanie looked at him, dreamy eyed, before starting her caricature.

Surfer Dudes: Geoff was drawing. He signaled Brody to start his pose. Brody then flexed his arms, while Geoff began to draw him.

Police Cadets: MacArthur was Drawing. Sanders was doing an action pose of an armed police officer aiming at a target. MacArthur took her pace as she drew.

Mall-Goers: Hailey was the one Drawing. She has suggested that Eric take off his shirt, which he did, the confused look on his face. Hailey then motioned him to smile.

* * *

At that moment Don does another V.O., declaring that, "This just in! Flight Number Two has landed! As the teams from said second flight race to the Eiffel Tower, Teams from Flight Number One are straining to finish the first challenge."

Geoff was still drawing Brody, who was flexing his muscles even harder, causing veins to appear. This took some strain on him, as he began to sweat, his teeth to appear. This continued until Geoff said, "Done-sters!" Brody then relaxed his body, calming it down as he looked at Geoff's drawing of him. It was intentionally done slightly crude, giving it that cartoon-ish look worthy of a caricature. Overall, Brody was impressed, saying, "Dude, you drew me awesome!"

"Yes, you do look impressive in that photo."

The two looked and say that is was Madison who spoke to them. She had a smile on her face worthy of a female prince charming. "It makes you look... defined."

Brady took to this compliment, saying, "Aw thanks! I am pretty awesome now that I think about- about- ... abou... ..." At that point he was looking directly into Madison's eyes, a sexy smile plastered on her face as she slowly, and playfully ran her fingers up his arms. "You work out, don't you?" She mused.

"Y-y-yeah..."

"Good. (slow, suggestive tone) I like being around men who are big... and strong..."

Geoff looked at this whole scene with a look that clearly said, "What is going on?" while Rosa presented her caricature of Madison over to the artist. Who approved of it, handing her a copy of the tip.

"Now," Madison continued, "About that tip..."

"(Confused) Huh?" Brody said, "(realizing) Oh yeah! (laughs like he normally does.)"

* * *

Owen looks at some of the other teams, like how the Daters seemed to be on sync so much, or how the Mall-Goers seemed to trust each other. He then says to Noah, "I think that the way some of these guys support each other is amazing... WE should hug!"

Noah simply replied, "No."

"Please!? What about a high f- "

"FACE FORWARD!"

* * *

Geoff had taken one of the copies of the tip and had read it aloud, Brody and the Seducers listening, "Go down, down, down. Find the cheese, so round... where your next tip is found."

Rosa, realizing what this meant, said, "I'm a little confused, but 'Down' might be referring to the catacombs underneath the city!"

"Sweet!," Geoff exclaimed, "Let's go find us some cheese!" The two teams then proceeded down one of the nearby manholes.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Seducers -

Madison: Brody is going to become quite useful later on. I intend to use him when the need arises.

Rosa: The poor jock. (The two share a single evil laugh.)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

We now see Don, standing in a long series of tunnels, skeletons all over the place. "Welcome to the catacombs," He said, "Where ancient Parisians buried victims of the Plague. Teams will have to use their noses to navigate this maze of tunnels to find the correct exit, and their next travel tip, hidden amongst these wheels of Roquefort Cheese.

In another part of Paris we see the Fashion Bloggers, whose cab just lost a tire to a nail in the road. "A FLAT tire," Tom began "in luxury boutique heaven during a Midnight Madness Event? Come on!"

"(Gasp) The universe WANTS us to go shopping," Jen declared, "It's FATE!"

"Or... the ultimate test of our wills."

"(Sigh) You have a point. We ARE already behind, we can't just stop, drop, and shop."

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Fashion Bloggers -

Jen: If we come in LAST, we're going HOME.

Tom: And, HELLO, the longer we stay on the race, the more we can promote out blog.

Both: Now trending with Tom and Jen!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Tom then had an idea, saying, "...Although it IS gonna take some time to replace that flat tire..."

The next thing anyone knew, Tom and Jen began to enter the stores, prepared to shop like there's no tomorrow.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Eiffel Tower...

"What do you mean 'non'? (French word for 'No'.) She got an A in art last semester. (The artist shows him Carrie's caricature of him. It shows Devin in a sexy post, shirtless, showing off his muscles and his smile. Surrounding him are a bunch of hearts and cherubs.) Oh, I see... (Oblivious as what the caricature suggested.) It's too realistic!"

The Sisters were already there, Kitty was drawing the caricature, while Emma simply ready her book. "So... " Kitty said, "Are you seeing anyone new at university?"

"Yeah," Emma started sarcastically, "His name is International and Comparative Anti-Trust Law Curriculum."

Kitty, ignoring her sister's remark, simply continued her caricature, saying, "I'm thinking of getting a pixie cut!"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Sisters -

Kitty: Emma's ALWAYS the serious one, but ever since her boyfriend Jake broke up with her two years ago, she's been SUPER- !

Emma: (Covering Kitty's mouth) FINE! I've been super fine! And I don't NEED a boyfriend, I need a Law Degree. And I need my kid sister to get her head in the game!

Kitty: And a boyfriend. (Emma made a groan of annoyance at this)

\- End confessional -

* * *

The Mall-Goers presented their caricature next. The drawing was of Eric as The Thinker, only wearing his cargo shorts, unlike the actual statue. The Artist gave them a thumbs up. The two shared a high five as they proceeded into the catacombs.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Mall-Goers -

Eric: Hailey is an awesome artist. You should see her sketchbook of potential fashions. It's pretty cool.

Hailey: (Blushing slightly) Oh, you're just saying that.

Eric: No, I-I meant it. You're good. (Equally Blushing)

\- End confessional -

* * *

Next up were the Reality TV Pros, the artist was laughing with Noah at the caricature he drew of Owen, about to devour the Eiffel tower. Whole. I would like to note how this, canonically, is the SECOND time in the history of the Total Drama franchise, where Noah openly laughs. Owen simply looked confused, even as Noah dragged him into the sewers... "Wait!" he (Owen) said, "I wanna see the picture!"

* * *

Meanwhile, in another part of Paris... FAR away from the Eiffel Tower the Tennis Rivals abruptly woke up, then looked at their surroundings.

"Hey," Gerry said to the cab driver, "THIS isn't the Eiffel Tower!"

"You old men never told me where to go," the driver replied.

"We may be old-ER," Pete claimed, "But that doesn't mean we're old!"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Tennis Rivals -

Gerry: We have the same energy as those other guys (The other Teams) ... From about 5AM to 4PM...

Pete: Yeah, after that, we get a little... groggy...

Gerry: Haha, groggy? I haven't seen the moon since 2003! (Both Laugh)

Pete: Oh, really? 'Cause I got a moon for 'ya! (Points to his own butt) Right here! (Both Laugh Again)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

\- Commercial Break -

Eric and Hailey were in the middle of the catacombs and were faced with each of the tunnel ways. "Hailey," Eric began, "I'm gonna go ahead and see if I can find the right tunnel, you stay put right here, okay? (She nodded) I'll be right back!" Eric then runs through one of the tunnels.

* * *

Meanwhile Emma was still reading her book while Kitty was drawing, even while Emma told her, "It (the drawing) needs at least FOUR exaggerations to be a caricature."

Kitty replied, "I have WAY more than that!"

Some of the other teams were also still on caricature duty.

Greg was Drawing. Seth had his hand in front of him and his mouth wide open, as if he were singing opera.

Sierra was Drawing. She has a look of mischief on her face as she drew, while Topher has this nervous smile on his face, wondering what she was drawing.

Taylor was drawing. "Thank gosh, I'M the one drawing." She said. Her poor mother...

"Hey sorry we're late!"

That voice was from the Fashion Bloggers, who were now holding NUMEROUS shopping bags.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Fashion Bloggers -

Jen: Getting that flat tire was the BEST thing that's ever happened to us.

Tom: I have never shopped so fast in a foreign language in my LIFE.

Jen: SO worth it though. I mean, finding rock-studded, leather leggings in North America? Heh, good luck!

Tom: Truth

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Sierra showed her caricature, It depicts Topher, being literally, and violently, kicked off a 1st place podium by his very idol, Chris McLean, who in the caricature, was both laughing sadistically and depicted with horns. Topher, in the image, was dressed in rags. The French artist smirked at this image before accepting it. During this time, Topher was visible fuming, enraged at the way Sierra depicted both himself AND his Idol. "Yay," he said quickly, his voice dripping with sarcasm, hate, and spite, "He likes it! LET'S GO!"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Superfans -

Topher: (Enraged) HOW DARE YOU DEFILE THE REPUTATION OF A GREAT CELEBRITY!

Sierra: ... ... (warm smile) It was actually really easy. (This enraged Topher even more, as he screamed then ran of screen. Sierra smirks at the camera afterwards) (playfully) I hope you didn't mean Chris! (more screams of pure wrath occur off-screen. Sierra just sits there, and calmly smirks.).

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Three more teams showed their caricature, all of which were approved by the artist.

"Hurry Come on!" Said Carrie to the entire group.

"Ugh! I hope I don't get the Plague again," Complained Jay. Then the Adversity twins, along with the rest of the group followed Carrie and Devin down the manhole as the last of the Teams finally made it ti the Eiffel Tower.

Meanwhile in the Catacombs, Eric was looking around for the right tunnel that will lead him and Hailey to the next tip. It is evident that he used OTHER exit tunnels, he was now holding a single, black, thin box. In his hands.

* * *

\- Solo Confessional: Eric -

Eric: Truth be told, I have a crush on Hailey. I always have, ever since I first met her. But, I've been shy about it the whole time. But now, I think I'm finally gonna ask her the big question! I mean, it's PARIS! It's sure to work!

\- End confessional -

* * *

Meanwhile, up ahead the Ice Dancers and Steampuks were running down the same path. They were about to turn around when they heard voices.

"Okay, WHAT are you DOING?"

"I've trained my nose so I can work border crossings."

Jacques was able to say "Those voices sound like- " Before the other three shushed him. A peek around a corner and he was right, It was the Police Cadets!

"People think they can bring unregistered fruit into ANY country they want," MacArthur continued, "(Fist on other hand) NOT on MY watch, sister! (Does a deep sniff, then points to one of the tunnels) It's this one! I'm going in." Sanders follows her into the tunnel.

"We should- "Jacques began but was immediately interrupted by Wayne who said, "Let's follow them. If that girl is right about her nose, they these two will lead us RIGHT to the next tip." Everyone nodded in agreement and followed him. Jacques gave and upset look but went with the other three anyway.

* * *

"As some of the team make their way through the Parisian Catacombs," Don said through V.O., "other's are still drawing the art challenge to a conclusion. Heh. Drawing... See what I did there?"

Indeed we see the last of the teams finish their drawings, all getting approvals. But let's focus on the catacombs. In one point we see that Eric and Hailey are reunited and walking down one of the tunnels. "By the way," Hailey said... "What's with the box?"

"Oh this?" Eric asked, referring to the box in his hand. "It's a surprise... Don't worry about it. (Smiles warmly)"

Down another hallway, Owen and Noah were running around Owen saying, "Here, cheesy-cheese! (whistles a bird-call)"

"If we had ANY kind of a lead, we've lost it by now," said Noah, "(He looks down and sees a skull on the floor... which unnerves him because... ) Wait a sec... I've seen that skull before! Aw man, we're going in circles!"

"(Owen feeling weird) So's my tum-tum. (His stomach makes a disturbing noise) AH! Uh-oh... D'ya see any restroom signs!?"

* * *

\- Solo Confessional: Noah -

Owen is running around frantically, tunnel through tunnel.

Noah: Owen hasn't, well... "gone" since he ate that crazy stew back in Morocco, so... We KNEW this moment would come, we just didn't know when.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

The Surfer Dudes and Seducers are now seen at the end of one of the wrong tunnels.

"Aw man!" Complained Rosa, "Another dead end."

"Don't worry dudette," said Brody, "We'll find the way out."

"We're not worried at all, Brody." Madeline said suggestively, "We know you'll be able to lead us to safety." This remark caused Brody to blush furiously.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Seducers -

Rosa: Since Geoff has that, "I'm taken with another woman" look on his face, I knew that I needed to work a DIFFERENT angle on him.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Hey, Geoff?" Rosa started, using an innocent, basic, tone, "I think we missed the way out three openings ago, maybe we should look there?"

"You could be right brah," Geoff answered, "Let's go!" The two teams began to run in the direction the Seducers secretly knew to be the CORRECT tunnel out.

* * *

In another part of the tunnels, the Adversity Twins were walking down one of the hallways, when, out of one of the corners, two nightmare-ish figures appeared. The two boys screamed in fear! As the figures step into the light though, the Adversity Twins now see that it's just the Goths.

"You scared us!" exclaimed Mickey.

"Really?" asked Ennui, his neutral voice now showing a small tough of curiosity.

"Yeah, I mean," Jay said, "This place is scary."

"Are you kidding me?" Asked the male Goth, "I've never been so happy... "

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Goths -

Ennui: This place could be an amusement park. Or even a camp for kids...

Crimson: ... ... He's right.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

In another section, we see the Police Cadets. MacArthur was sniffing the air around her, her nose high in the air, like a bloodhound. "Roquefort," She stated, "Cave-aged about... (sniff) three years! (Hears something) Hey, do you hear running water? (The two walk up a flight of stairs and discover that they made it, seeing a large pile of Roquefort cheese in front of them) Oh YEAH! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout! (Takes one of the big wheels from the large piles) You're coming with me! (Then she hears the sound of a throat clearing, then turns, along with Sanders to see the Ice Dancers and Steampunks behind them.)"

"Well, well, well," Sanders began, "Look who it is..."

"Yeah!" MacArthur agreed, "If it isn't the Steam-Slowpokes and the Smiling Silvertons!"

Josee simply reacted by walking up to one of the stacks of Roquefort and kicking the whole thing away, proudly declaring, "I HATE SILVER!" Behind the now absent stack of cheese, they see a sign. Jacques reads the sign, saying, "It says, 'Take your cheese and sail away to where Mona Lisa is on display'..."

"That means the Louvre!" Cynthia said.

* * *

At that point Don did another V.O. about, "The Louvre, home of many paintings I was asked to stop touching. It's also the Chill Zone for this part of the Race. Last team on the Carpet of Completion, WILL be OUT of the running! But the race for FIRST place is kicking into high gear!"

* * *

The Ice Dancers were already floating on their wheel of Roquefort cheese down the river. "Bye!" Josee called out arrogantly, to the Steampunks and Police Cadets, "You stink WORSE than this cheese float."

MacArthur simply called back, "Too bad you forgot your OARS! (Sanders calmly holds them out, a smirk on her face.)"

Josee angrily stares as Jacques, her smile, now FULLY gone form her face, "JACQUES!" she yelled out, "You were supposed to grab the oars!" Jacques simply says, "DARN IT!"

The Police Cadets, their OWN oars at hand, paddled by them, MacArthur mockingly asking, "What's French for BOOYAH!?"

The Steampunks were the last of the three teams to get their Roquefort Wheel. They threw it in the water and Cynthia landed on it, perfectly. "Come on!" She called out to her brother. He then jumped onto the Roquefort himself, next his sister. The two then paddled efficiently, determined to head up to first.

* * *

Yin & Yang were having some problems of their own. Seth has some pains throughout his body, coming from his stomach.

"Dude," He said, clutching his sides in pain, "I don't feel so good."

"Oh no... " Greg began, "It's from the stew isn't it? I can't believe this! Hang on! (The two approached a door marked with a restroom sign... Only, when they opened it, they were hit with a series of fumes to toxic, they stood there, wide eyed and fainted. Well, Seth did anyway, Greg practically used his hand as a nose plug at that point.)"

Inside the restroom was Owen. "MAN," He said, "That Moroccan Stew can really RIP through a guy. (Notices Seth knocked out and Greg pinching his nose for dear live) Uh... sorry..."

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Yin & Yang -

Greg: That smell was HORRIBLE! I bet Owen's farts are used as an international SMELLING SALT SUBSTITUTE!

\- Team Confessional: Reality TV Pros. -

Noah: And that's just a 6.2 on the Owen-Stink Scale.

Owen: There's a scale!?

Noah: Of course. Sushi based farts are a 1, Onion soup is a 5, and spicy burrito farts go all the way up to 12. Those things can peel the varnish of a locker.

Owen: Yeah... (smiling) it's true.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Ew... I-It's like SO creepy in here," declared Tom, "It feels like I'm being watched..."

He and Jen were in the catacombs at the moment, "Hey Tom!" said Jen, moving around one of the skeletons through string puppetry, "I have a BONE to pick with you. (laughs)" The two then shared a laugh until they heard a noise that... sounded like a growl...

"T-T-Tom... ?"

He turned around and saw what Jen saw. A large, shadowy monster was walking towards them!

There was literally a single second of silence. Then, the two screamed in absolute terror, running away, Tom dropping one of their many shopping bags. Still screaming, he went back to get it then continued to scream as he proceeded with running away.

After they were gone it turns out that the "monster" was actually the shadow of a small rat. Who then began to laugh at what just happened. THIS is why I hate RATS!

* * *

\- Commercial Break -

* * *

Next we see some of the other teams with boarding their Roquefort floats, like Brother & Sister, Daters, and Best Friends. But up ahead, as if to repeat the events of the last episode, the Police Cadets and Steampunks were neck and neck, when they heard a cheer from behind them. They turned and-

"No WAY!" Exclaimed Cynthia. It was the Ice Dancers, pedaling swiftly and quickly, with their own two feet. They had ended up passing both teams again. This time Cynthia screamed, "HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!?" She and Wayne were so shocked, they actually stopped paddling.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Ice Dancers -

Jacques: Missing Paddles? HA! THAT wont stop us.

Josee: We've competed in far more dire situations. Jacques once got rabies from a squirrel, but that didn't stop us!

Jacques: I skated, dressed as a St. Bernard, so that all the foam coming from my mouth actually made SENSE!

Josee: Adapting! It's what champions do!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

As they passed the Police Cadets, MacArthur whispered, "They just get creepier by the minute!"

* * *

The Mall-Goers were the next of the teams to get their wheel of cheese. They tossed it out to the lake successfully. However, as if fate chose then to play a cruel joke, the heel to one of her boots gave way, causing her to slip, hitting her elbow against the ground, and falling headfirst into the river. Eric watched this whole thing, so shocked he dropped the box with the single rose inside.

"Hailey!" He screamed as he ran towards the edge of the street looking down at where she hit the water.

Suddenly his face changed from fright, to focus. He stood up, grappled his shirt, and actually ripped it right off of him! He then immediately dived into the water. After a few seconds, he finally rose to the surface, holding Hailey in his arms. He lays her down on the cheese wheel, where, shortly, she regains consciousness, spitting out some water.

Eric looked at her with concern, then said, "Hey, (gets on the Roquefort himself and sits down) are you okay?"

Hailey looks at him for a moment, then their eyes lock. "... I'm fine," She says, "But... (looks down to, well...) my arm..."

Her arm did look bad, There was a gash on the lower half, below the elbow, that was bleeding. The gash didn't look to big, but still looked like it hurt. "It's okay," Eric said. He then tore off the lower half of his pants, reducing them to shorts, and used them each. One to cover the slight gash on her arm, the other was tied on her other arm to slow circulation to the bleeding area, therefore, slowing down the bleeding. Hailey blushed, saying, "Thank you Eric,"

"Of course," he replied, "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you... I... (He finally took I deep breath... and after a few seconds... He FINALLY said the one thing he wanted to say since they met) I love you."

This brought joy to Hailey's face. Even with her arm injured, she felt as if she we're floating on air at that moment. Then she said, "... I know (this brought shock to Eric, until she said...). Because, I love you too... " Then, at that moment, at that one moment... they kissed. It lasted around 5 seconds and their eyes were closed deeply. The one thing in each of their minds was, "YES! I DID IT!"

After they kissed, Eric went back to the water. "HANG ON!" he declared, "We're gonna win this thing!" Hailey then braced herself as Eric began to push and pedal with full strength. They were eventually going really fast and managed to pass by several of the other players.

* * *

Back at the Roquefort Pile the Reality TV Pros. were ahead of the only other three teams. Yin & Yang, Vegans, and Tennis Players. "There's the tip!" Noah said, "And Plenty of cheese wheels! We're still in this! (Reads the tip to himself) Okay... I'll grab the oars, you get the cheese and- (turns around, only to witness the worst) NO!"

Owen was EATING THE CHEESE! "What?" he said, "Roquefort's GOOD for you!"

* * *

Meanwhile, ahead of the competition, The Ice Dancers were ahead of the others. "Look!" Josee declared to her partner, "The Louvre, over there!"

"(Looking behind him) Uh... Josee... ?" Jacques began... but never finished, Josee turned to look behind her, then gasped. The Mall-Goers were catching up at an incredible speed. Slowly but surely. They passed the Ice Dancers, and Made it to the dock. The Ice Dancers were so shocked that they actually let the Police Cadets pass them. MacArthur's mocking laugh snapped them out of it and they kept going at a faster pace. The first three teams that would potentially touch the finish line were on their way...

Don was waiting next to the carpet of completion. He looked up from his watch to see the Police Cadets, who were there, Roquefort Cheese Wheel at hand. "Well, Well, ladies," he began, "You made it in first. (See's the Ice Dancers approaching) And the Ice Dancers will have to settle for silver."

"HAH!" MacArthur said to the 2nd-placers, "In you face Silvertons!" Josee smiled, but her eye twitched furiously, but Jacques. was so upset that, well... if looks could kill, he would have murdered the audience watching.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Ice Dancers -

Josee: (Angry) We. Hate.

Jacques: (Enraged) That. NICKNAME!

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Meanwhile, The Surfer Dudes and The Seducers were on their giant rolls of cheese, which were pressed next to each other. Madison was stroking Brody's arm playfully, saying super sweet stuff to him. He seemed happy. "Listen Brody," Madison began, "I have something to confess to you... (Brody got this "Okay?" look on his face) I'm what you call... a player... sorry."

"Wait," Brody said, "So I'm NOT the first dude you've had your eye on? (There was a moment of silence, then...) AWESOME!"

"Wait, you don't mind?"

"Nah, I've seen dozens of cute chick at parties and stuff. But hey... you're the cutest one yet."

Madison smiled warmly at that remark.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Seducers -

Madison: ... ... ... (Sinister smile) Okay... whose next?

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Okay," Rosa said to the two, still playing innocent, "You two lovebirds just stay focused on the race alright?"

"... ... Okay," Replied Brody... It was clear that he was long gone.

* * *

The Steampunks were ahead of everyone else, making up for sweet time, while the Reality TV Pros. were in the very back, Owen eating their Roquefort Raft.

"Owen!" Noah said angrily, "Knock it off, you're eating out raft!"

"Sorry," Said Owen, "Heh, I'll stop. (Eats another piece of Roquefort) Okay, NOW I'll stop. (Eats another piece of Roquefort) Okay, now I'll stop for REAL! (Eats yet, ANOTHER piece of Roquefort)"

* * *

Meanwhile, the Mall-Goers had finally reached the Chill Zone. "Whoa," he said, talking notice of their condition, "What happened?"

"Hailey, scrapped her arm," Eric replied, "There's a gash on it."

"Wow... (to Hailey) are you alright? (She nods) Okay, I'll see to getting you some medical attention. You've won third place by the way (The two smile at this)."

* * *

Some of the teams were making progress.

Owen was now being used as the raft, cheering Noah on as the lighter boy petaled with full vigor, passing some of the other teams!

Tom and Jen were loading all their shopping bags into their Roquefort wheel. Only...

"Wait!" Tom began, just as Jen was about to jump, "There's no more room. One of us will have to swim! (Jen gasped at this) Don't worry, I'll- "

"I'LL DO IT!" declared Jen, cutting Tom off, "For the clothing! (Tom gasped in shock at this)

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Fashion Bloggers -

Jen was looking clearly upset, while Tom was closer to the camera than normal.

Tom: THIS (pointing at the angry Jen) is, like, a HUGE sacrifice. Sh-Sh-She only lets her beautician wash her hair...

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Jen, then jumped off the street, doing a perfect 10 dive into the river. When she came back up however, there was a frog on her head, wearing her glasses. She looked up, saw it, and screamed like a horror movie victim.

The next few teams arrived, "Steampunks," Don said to them, "you are in 4th place."

"Surfer Dudes, Seducers, you are tied for 5th."

Geoff and Brody did a chest bump at this news while the Secuders simply smirked in a "Well, duh!" sort of fashion.

01st: Police Cadets

02nd: Ice Dancers

03rd: Mall-Goers

04th: Steampunks

05th: Surfer Dudes (Tied)

05th: Seducers (Tied)

07th: Best Friends

08th: Brother & Sister

09th: Father & Son

10th: Stepbrothers

The three last-placing teams had finally reached the canal, Tennis Rivals were ahead of the other teams followed by Yin & Yang, and finally, the Vegans. The Tennis Rivals were laughing at the other two teams.

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Tennis Rivals -

Pete: Y'see the thing is, age is all in your mind.

Gerry: Heh. And in your joints.

Pete: AND it has a little to do with the year you were born! (The two shared a laugh)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Don is then seen saying, "And here come some more Teams!"

11th: Superfans

12th: Fashion Bloggers

13th: Daters

14th: Geniuses

15th: Sisters

16th: Rockers

"Well, Well." Don continued, "If it isn't Noah and his ark (The Reality TV Pros.) (He blocks their path to the Carpet of Completion) 20 Minute Penalty!"

"WHAT!?" Owen said, shocked, "WHY!?"

"Because you disobeyed the rules. The challenge was to sail the CHEESE across the river."

"But it's INSIDE me! I AM CHEESE!"

* * *

"Sorry Owen. That may work with Chris McLean, but not with me! So just stand back and hope you aren't the last team to place! (Now through V.O.) With one team waiting for the end of their penalty, the last of the teams are determined, NOT to come in last!"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Vegans -

Laurie: The thought of coming in last place made us realize that we needed to step up our game.

Miles: Yeah, we were super charged up.

\- End Confessional -

* * *

The Vegans eventually passed both Yin & Yang AND the Tennis Rivals, who were shocked at their speed.

"How is that possible?" Gerry mused, "WE'RE athletes. THEY eat dust and birdseed!"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Vegans -

Laurie: Pass the birdseed? (Miles gives her a box of bird seed, which she happily ate from)

Miles: (Holding a dust bunny) Would you like some dust with that?

\- End Confessional -

* * *

"Okay," said Don, "Here come the Vegans, who take 20th Place."

"Oh No..." declared Owen, "Here come the last two teams! (Noah gt wide eyes when he saw them too.)"

* * *

\- Team Confessional: Reality TV Pros. -

Owen: I'm gonna feel SO awful if my love of cheese causes us to lose the race. And what's worse... I COULD REALLY GO FOR SOME CHEESE RIGHT NOW! (Begins to cry, uncontrollably, but is able to say at least a few coherent sentences) I have no Self-Control! I'm like a hungry DOG!

Noah: (As if to prove Owen's point, Noah began to hit him with an actual newspaper!) Bad partner! BAD! BAD! (Owen even WHINED like a dog!)

\- End Confessional -

* * *

The two Teams DID have some trouble moving their cheese wheels for their own reasons.

Seth was way too weak to the stomach from the Moroccan Stew. HE could barely walk without clutching his stomach, leaving Greg to push the cheese himself, which was hard.

The Tennis Rivals were going just as slow due to being unable to push their cheese wheel far enough because, well... they were old.

Eventually, when the two teams were close to the Carpet, just a few feet away. An alarm went off. "Reality TV Contestants, you're 20 minute penalty is up!"

When Don said that, it was like something snapped in those six guys, the next thing anyone knew they had tackled one another onto the carpet. Owen took notice of this, saying, "HAH! It's a three way tie!"

"NOT exactly!" contradicted Don. Who walked on one end of the carpet.

"WHAT!?"

The teams looked at Don's feet. They saw someone else's foot that WASN'T touching the carpet. "Greg," Don concluded, "I'm afraid your leg wasn't in the carpet of completion along with everyone else. I'm sorry. You and Seth are going home."

"Aw m- !" Seth never got to finish that sentence, for his body, FINALLY rejected the Moroccan Stew, spewing it onto the nearby ground...

* * *

\- Final Confessional: Yin & Yang -

Greg: "It sucks that we had to lose now."

Seth: "If my foot was on the carpet, we would have stayed."

Greg: "But we had fun."

Seth: "We would do this again if we had to."

\- End Confessional -

* * *

Placing Order for this episode:

01st: Police Cadets

02nd: Ice Dancers

03rd: Mall-Goers

04th: Steampunks

05th: Surfer Dudes (Tied)

05th: Seducers (Tied)

07th: Best Friends

08th: Brother & Sister

09th: Father & Son

10th: Stepbrothers

11th: Superfans

12th: Fashion Bloggers

13th: Daters

14th: Geniuses

15th: Sisters

16th: Rockers

17th: Mom & Daughter

18th: Adversity Twins

19th: Goths

20th: Vegans

21st: Reality TV Pros.

21st: Tennis Rivals

23rd: Yin & Yang (Eliminated)

Gwent Forever: "Now this...was such an amazing chapter! Don't forget to read, review and favorite this story so that you won't miss any updates."


End file.
